Robert Bly on Fathers inadequacy, feminism, and solution When your fathers is away during the day and during the year when he only comes home at 5 o’clock you only get his temperament. What you use to get was his teaching and his temperament. The teaching would help you. You know how sweet it is when someone says “Well, the way you make it is you put your nail over here and put your board over here, and when you do that …” Those teachings are sweet. Even mean men are often sweet when they are teaching. And then we have that gratitude when someone has taught us something. That’s so wonderful. We used to receive that from our fathers. Now he goes to work and all we get is a temperament. He is tired. What’s more at work he had been humiliated by older men and other men – his bosses. He has been in competition with other men. He knows that his work is not going to able to see end of his work. It’s not like making a chest of drawers. He knows that his company is probably polluting Alaska. How do you think he feels before he gets home? That’s all you are going to get. And I want to remind you that the same thing is true to women – that many people that we call angry feminists are women who have only experienced the temperament of their fathers – they have never experienced the teachings. And their attacks on patriarchy are really turned attack on the fact that they don’t believe that there is any older males that have anything but this irritable temperament. So that has to be understood too. The women get only the temperament of the father and it is usually irritable and angry. One thing I have to say to the man is that your father is convinced that he is an inadequate human being. Women have been telling him that for 30-40 years – he doesn’t know how to talk, he can’t express himself, he doesn’t know what his feelings are. People hear what they hear. Your father feels that he is OK when he is with a hammer but in every other way he is inadequate. So you call up your home, you get your father and he says “Oh John this is your father, here is your mother.” And I was saying is that there is only two kind of men – one kind is willing to go along with it and other kind says “wait a minute. I didn’t call here to talk to my mother. I want to talk to you.” Men don’t talk about feelings. If you talk about feelings you probably must be drunk. youtube/watch?v=TP3HWLIL1Aw#t=23m26s
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 18:34:18 +0000
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