Role Models… Last week, I had to pick up some materials for a garden renovation that we’re currently doing at home. Where I had to go, is the area where Rose’ son Daniel currently lives and goes to school. For the last 5 years, I have gotten to know this area quite well because I used to accompany mum and dad at times to pick up Daniel for his visits. Also in every Winter season, we also used to take him to his Saturday morning soccer matches quite frequently in this area. So naturally, as I approached the suburb, I felt anxious, specially after what’s happened since February with Daniel. So many memories came flooding back as I drove in the area. I literally drove past his school. At that moment I had the urge to drop into his school and ask to see him. After all, I kept telling myself, I was LEGALLY within my rights, as we had court orders to do so. All I wanted was a minute to see him, to see his smile, to talk to my nephew, I wanted to show him a picture of his new cousin Luca and explain how much we love and miss him. As I passed the road of his school, I was so close but yet so far from him. The emotions swelled. Call me crazy…. I resisted and common sense prevailed. I knew only too well that if I did act on my feelings and visit him that moment at his school, I would be setup for a situation of HIGH conflict. God knows what would have happened. I would be made to look like the’ bad aggressive uncle’, just as I had been made to look for the last few years in the court proceedings and after, with lie after lie in affidavits and false accusations from certain people including a new female ‘role model’ that just entered his life. Female ‘role models’….. This female ‘role model’ was given an important, wonderful special role and moral responsibility to continue Rose’s legacy and nurture his relationship with his maternal family. How beautiful and comforting would that have been for Daniel…… Everything could have been so different. We would have loved that for him, as difficult as it would have been with Rose no longer with us. Only being in his life for a short time, with no real concept of our ties with him, this person decided to make damning shocking comments in court affidavits against a family and a little boy, and their deep love for him that was formed since his birth. Deliberately choosing the path to destroy and sever a bond that was there well before that person even came into Daniel’s life. I say very strongly, that person knows nothing about the Fimmano family and our Rose. The actions of that particular person are totally inappropriate, not to mention the other female and male role models currently in his life. Even after the court proceedings, when told very clearly NOT to interfere in his relationships with us, the pressure and brainwashing continued with these role models till Feb 16th and God only knows what these people could be doing to him now. Please Rose, I trust that you watch over your little boy. RIP. xx However ultimately, the buck stops with the person closest to Daniel. We know that this person has never taken full responsibility for this awful situation and has always placed the pressure on Daniel, saying, “ It isn’t me Roy, it’s Daniel, Daniel doesn’t want to come anymore, after what you did to him”. That’s what we heard for 5 years, in all the legal documents, the same garbage. It seems to be the same selective reasoning, that all ‘responsibility’ and’ decision making’ for the situation is handed over to Daniel, back then a young 7 years of age and now nearly 12 years old. If we all did that as parents, could you imagine?!! The truth is certain people don’t want us in his life period. So blame Daniel, the poor little boy, easy way out. Back to last week… So I drove on relucatantly, feeling so ripped off and helpless cutoff from Daniel. With what should be a normal thing to do, visiting the son of your passed sister, my much loved nephew. As I drove back home and again passed the road, I started to think of the years before Rose passed, when things were ’normal’. The irony in all this is that we would all drop in regularly to see Daniel, I’d have a coffee with Rose and we’d laugh, chat and watch Daniel be’ funny’. A certain person never seemed to have issue with me then or when he needed my family to look after Daniel. We did many weekend dinners, Friday night movies and family get togethers there at Rose’ place in Kellyville, Northwest of Sydney. It was always relaxed and happy. After Rose passed away in 2007, I had a wonderful conversation with that same person regarding the family bond we all had and how I hoped it would continue. That certain person said to the effect, I remember very clearly, “20 years is a longtime Joe, those bonds don’t just go away, don’t worry Joe, we’ll always be close”. Inevitably in these situations, dynamics do change and we accepted this fact, but not like this. On the morning of 28th May 2009, for the first time in our lives, mum,dad, myself and my sister Lena, all sat on the bench in a courtroom at the Family courts in Parramatta with our lawyer. It was daunting. We sat in silence. We sat in grief. We sat in shock. A certain person in Daniel’s life including other family members and female ‘role models’ sat on the other side of the room. The magistrate asked this person what he wanted. He replied, “ No contact”. The magistrate was dismayed and asked why. “ I am in fear of Daniel’s safety”, he replied. There was not ONE piece of factual evidence supporting this ‘fear’ in the 20 year connection with the family. The magistrate looked bewildered. Most disturbing to me and my family, that here was a person we thought we knew, we loved and trusted, who was now above all else, was all of a sudden more intent on hurting the family of his passed wife, including her 78 year old father and 71 year old mother, and filling up the mind a little boy of 7 years with malicious hurtful untruths. I looked at this person across the room with dismay and thought about those words said to me some 18 months prior… “ 20 years is a longtime Joe, those bonds don’t just go away, don’t worry Joe, we’ll always be close”. The journey had just begun….. ( A pic of the many fun times I had with my nephew, a preschool event where he asked me to play the accordion in his class…) xx
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 10:22:33 +0000
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