Run-in With My New Trailer Trash Florida Neighbor....after over 25 hours of driving from Michigan to my new house in Florida, Mac and I pull up to see some knuckle-dragging oaf standing on the sidewalk in front of my house watching his dog dropping a turd next to the tree in my front yard. Im thinking hes never met me and probably had a doggie do-do bag to pick it up...I pulled into my drive, and could tell by his expression that he was surprised to see an occupant of the home finally show up. I got out of my truck and he asked if I was the be tenant; I confirmed...he told me he was my next door neighbor. then he said I wont charge you anything for fertilizing your front yard....I was already punchy from lack of sleep, and those of you that know me, know that I have zero filter on any words that exit my mouth....I could feel the hair standing up on the back of my neck and my redneck Schichtl blood start to boil...I said good, then Ill let my two dogs and two cats come over and fertilize your front yard. He said there is nothing growing in my front yard. I said, obviously...because you havent been fertilizing and my dogs and I will be happy to shit in your front yard to help create a lush environment...he ended up walking off without picking up his dog turd....so I went in, got a paper towel and delivered his dogs turd back to his house on the driveway in front of his garage door....good thing Dallas wasnt here....there mightve been a 50-gallon drum of Puerto Rican whoop-ass.,..
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 21:27:02 +0000
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