Runaway Chapter 16 - Awakening Our awakening can be quick and sudden or it can be gradual and protracted with the latter being more the case for me. However, the first time that I can recall experiencing any sort of religious or philosophical epiphany was on an occasion in which I was lying on my back in the infirmary at Holy Cross College with possible flu symptoms. Maybe it was as a result of having to yield myself to the overwhelming effects of illness and the concern for how poor health would adversely impact on my ability to keep up with my studies. In part, I realized that I had been burning the candlestick at both ends by partying to much, going to the gym to play basketball everyday and lift weights all of which was taking up more time than I could really afford. Now, there I was flat on my back and surrendering to a reflective state of mind. In those still moments, I began to sense a new and deeper perspective. In what is still nearly indescribable, something or someone seemed to be alerting me to the reality that I was out of alignment with what is admirable, affirming, beautiful, blissful, ceaseless, and centered. Whether what was being felt by was coming from within or outside of me was less important than gaining a measure of understanding about what had eluding me up until then and yet may have been contributed to my suffering beyond the physical level; rather at a soul-felt level. I have never forgotten that day. At other times I have tried to return to the keen awareness of that day. I remember quite vividly how soft light filled my room, how the dust particles appeared infinite and yet ordered in some way. There were many sounds of business, a highly sanitized smell, and a predominant round the clock attention to patient-focused care. Are these the preconditions for experiencing the richest elements of life? I didnt know then and admittedly, I do not know now. What I do know though, is that I left the infirmary different than when I entered it. Im not referring only to the lifting of my flew symptoms. I got an infusion of spirit as well that lasted and seemingly propelled me through a period of close to two years of high performance and more favorable outcomes. And then what? I took another wrong turn, blew out one or more virtues on the road, and ended up disoriented and lost again out in the middle of Nowheresville. Dont you too just hate it when that happens?
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:24:47 +0000
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