Ryan ~ Hi my little love bug!! This is going to be a short one as your brothers aren’t giving up on the screaming tonight but I cannot go a Sunday without my letter to you. No matter how short it may be I want to tell you that I love you and that I haven’t forgotten about you. We are sitting her watching the Steelers play (another pathetic game) and I can’t help but remember sitting on the couch and cuddling with you right before you went to CHP – we were wearing our matching jerseys and it was the last game of the season. You smiled your awesome smile even though they lost – I had you in my arms where you belong to this day. I am sitting here watching Kristopher bounce in your bouncy seat – neither of the boys like it like you did that is for sure. They could careless about it – you lived in that seat – it had such a calming effect on you for sure. You had a calming effect on many people – you effected so many lives in your shortened life. I don’t think that between the entire family put together we have changed as many lives as you did single handed. What an amazing thing to do at such a young age – to change the negative thinking that so many people had to more positive – my hero for sure and also my idol. I can only hope that when the boys get older I show them somehow – what an amazing little boy you were. So many memories come back to me around this time of year – we were getting prepared for your first open heart surgery – we did NOT know what to expect and little did we know that all hell would break loose. With the upcoming Halloween time it is really hard too – everywhere I turn there is a Superman costume or thing staring at me. So many people suggest I dress the boys as Superman but YOU are the only one in this family that will have that honor – you dressed in a Superman costume and that was the only time you ever wore one. Some people don’t realize how hard it is on us when we see all the Superman stuff – YOU were Superman. The boys do have some Superman stuff that they will wear but that is in honor/memory of you but no costume will be worn. Everywhere I turn I am always hoping that I will see you again – mommy looks too hard for “signs” – sometimes I stop believing but then I realize if I stop then I have nothing and that means I don’t hold out hopes on hellos from you. Buddy bear – keep doing what you are doing, mommy will keep on missing you and remember I love you to the moon and back and way more than elephant poop!
Posted on: Mon, 23 Sep 2013 02:28:45 +0000