SALTY ESPRESSO (Shorty) I was still panting like a dog when I reached the curb that leads to the city bloc where my apartment was. The ten miles run I had is already taking its toll. I havent run that far for so long and it shows. I eased into a jog realizing just how sweaty I was. My shirt was wet and hid nothing of my upper body. The pervert of a neighbor I have would have a feast day once again. I didnt really care. I settled on a brisk walk as I reach my apartment. As always, my neighbour was already out and pretending to get some weed out of the pots in front of the house. I felt those eyes on me but I just pretended not to notice. The customary hello was said and I went in my own unit. I almost shrieked like a banshee when I saw a white clad person standing in front of my coffee brewer. The smell of coffee assaulted my senses and the craving I have had for two years now came like a big tidal wave. I made a mental note to have it thrown away. Leave your key when your done. I said before going into my room and stripped down. I went to the shower, fuming and not even the warm water could calm me. Two cups of coffee were on the breakfast table when I got out of the room already on my suit. I had a meeting with one of my clients in about an hour. Ignoring the coffee, I went to grab an apple from the fridge and munched it down. I can feel a pair of eyes boring into me. An apple? The question came and I wasnt surprised. Two years ago, no one can even drag me to the fruit section of the supermarket. Its suppose to keep the doctor away. I didnt even try to hide my sarcasm as I eyed the obvious doctors coat in front of me. You look good. What do you want? I asked. I was starting to get annoyed seeing that what i said didnt give out the reaction I wanted. We need to talk. Can you not go all lawyer on me please? It took a lot of courage just to be here. I involuntarily rolled my eyes. There was begging in that voice but I didnt really give a damn. Cant you even give me a chance to explain? You have ten minutes. Thats all the time I have left to waste on you. I said. The tears that came out of those beautiful eyes that I used to let myself drown in was surprising. It had always been the other way around. Im sorry. I got scared. It was just too much for me to take in and I was afraid. No one ever made me feel that way and it scared the shit out of me. I felt that I was losing myself into it all and I couldnt handle that. I just wasnt ready. Law school made sure that I learn how to hide my emotion well enough and that was one of the few times I was thankful. I just stared with a blank face. The silence that followed was uncomfortable. Can you at least say something? Is that it? What? Is that all you have to say? Please... I went into the kitchen to throw the apples core into a waste bin. I heard footsteps following me. Then I felt those arms wrapping around me. I didnt even flinch. Get off me. I said in a monotone. The embrace just got tighter until I wiggled myself out of it. Please dont do this. My switch flipped upon hearing those words but I managed to control my anger. Thats just thick coming from you. Again, there was silence. Not really wanting to talk anymore, I opened my palm in front of him. Understanding what I was asking for, it didnt take long before I felt the cold key on my palm. I pocketed the key and started to fix the things that I needed for the meeting. I heard a sigh but didnt even dare to look. Could you ever forgive me? The voice were laced within total surrender. I tried to fight the tears on my eyes. I was scared too. Even more when you left. Then the news of your wedding came and I almost died. Every single day, I would walk into this house and kept on thinking if death can take it all away. Ive died a million times since you left. I cursed the day I was wheeled into that surgery room and had you fix my heart. I didnt--- Didnt what? Fix it just to get it broken into pieces? Come on! I have a law degree to attest that I am not that stupid. How I managed to keep my voice from cracking was a surprise even to me. I got scared. Again that line. It doesnt really compensate for the months of hell I have been through. So was I. The worst part was, for some time after you left, I still let myself believed that you would come back so that we could face it together. We still can... I laughed. I wasnt sure what ticked me off but I really thought it was funny. The puzzled look on that face didnt help much either. Two years is a long time, you know. I should thank you. It made me realize one thing. There was no reply, just a questioning look. That I was better off without you. The pain that crossed that lovely face was undeniable. Your ten minutes is up. Please get out of my house and dont ever come back. I just stared as a blurred vision of white crossed the floor and out of my door. When I heard the lock click, I finally let the tears roll down. I just wasnt ready to be scared once again. I took the two cups and saw that both were untouched. I took them to the sink and emptied both. I emptied the coffee maker afterwards and all three went into the trash bin. I let one last tear escape before going out the door. What happened was just two years too late.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 18:38:02 +0000
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