SAY THE UNSAID THINGS I didnt take your cigarettes! I half yelled rudely. Okay, whatever... said the deep, grouchy voice I knew too well. OK well Im going. I said dryly. Aaa-l right. And with the click of the telephone I turned away and headed off to be with some friends. Moments before I had learned that my mother, sister, brother, and step-father were leaving to go on vacation without me. In a terrible fit of jealousy, I let my displeasure be known. I went on and on about how messed up it was I was not invited and how my family did not love me. Just on and on. This rode well into the next day. July 16,1999 is my step-fathers 50th birthday. It was going to be his first birthday party ever. My mother had told me two or three times, so I was well aware. I had planned to be there at my dads first birthday party, (even though every since I had hit adolescence, we never seen eye to eye and fought constantly) but in the situation I thought he had put me in and in my moment of pure selfishness and resentfulness, I decided to say Id show and just not go. All the better, my friend called and asked me to go with her to her family reunion ... a perfect excuse! So at about 10 that night I called home collect. It was busy so I left a collect message for later delivery. Mom I left your shorts at Aunt Sheilas. If you want them before you leave on vacation tomorrow, better go get them. No I love you. No be careful. No tell dad happy birthday. All the way to Ohio with my friend, I bad mouthed him and my mom for marrying him. I felt so angry and left out. I blamed it all on him. It was always Dennys fault. I just knew he had been the one to suggest not taking me. We never got along it seemed. Eventually we arrived at our destination and tucked in for the night. I never thought twice about my family. Never one thought of all the fun they were probably having at Dennys birthday party. Not once about the excitement they all had for leaving on vacation tomorrow. Just myself. The next morning after I had got ready, my friend and her family hit the road to meet the rest of them at an all day reunion. We had stopped at K-mart. One of Kellys relatives pulled up to her car. Jara, you need to call home something bad happened. she had said. What, I asked, who? Your step-dad had a heart attack or something. she replied. Is he OK? I said quietly, as I began to shake. I do not know, youll have to call. and she drove away. I got out of the car, headed towards a nearby telephone booth. I dialled collect. My moms voice came over the line. Jara... mom said meekly. Mom what happened, are you OK? I asked. Dennys dead ... come home, please Jara, come home. OK mom, Ill be there, I said quietly, I love you. My legs were rubber, I couldnt talk, tears were flooding my eyes and running down my face. That night at his birthday party, after the guests had left, Denny had suffered a massive heart attack. It was caused from emphysema and heart disease, that even he never knew about. He died in my mothers arms. You see, I never made peace with Denny I never took the time to show how really important to me he was. I never took the time to tell him he was my Daddy. He had been there when my biological dad hadnt. He was the one who clothed, fed, and sheltered me as long as I can remember. He was the one that rubbed my belly for hours when I was home sick from school. He was the one who helped me move into my first apartment. He was the one that tried till his death bed to give me values and responsibility. He was the one man in my life I knew that would love me unconditionally. I never told him how much all that meant to me. I never told him that he was my daddy. After all this, Ive learned it so important not to let things go unsaid, no matter how minor or major. Even though I know Denny knew I loved him, I would feel so much better knowing for sure he knew because I hurt him in so many ways. And you see, he never complained. So my Dear Friends whatever you have in your Heart or Mind about your Family Or Friend or Someone Close to you say it, if its Good they would surely appreciate it, if its Bad surely you or the other person could Mend it, at the End of the day I assure you, you would Find Peace, Solace & Happiness in the Relationship & of course LOVE. (God Bless & Always Have a Healthy Relationship)
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:21:33 +0000
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