SEASON 3 INSERT #23 Mhhhhh kuzoqala ukubanzima kengoku,kulapho inyani izovela khona ukuba uSelina ebenyanisile xa efuna uxolo kum okanye ebecinga uzakufa ngoku enexhala lokungalingeni izulu. I need to fix my life,everything is a mess im a hypocrite,I always pray,en ask God to forgive me,usixolele izono zethu njengoba sibaxolela abo basonayo thina can I practice wat I preach no I can if I was nge umakhulu akabhenabheni epho ekhona nge ulele emkhenceni, Can I forgive Selina wat she did to me,I dont think im ready,en naye if akandixoleli andizumohlwaya yindlela aziva ngayo. Inyembezi ziyazehlela,ndihleli phantsi andazi ndizoqala ngaphi. Me; Selina mna nawe we zange savana but i think God allowed this to happen because he want us to be close. Selina: ukhuluma ngani, Me: ayikho indlela engingakutshela ngayo ,U Kamoe is no longer among us ,she passed away Uye wazithwala izandla entloko U Selina,wasitsho esikrakra Me: please calm down,i need to tell U wat happened. Ndiye ndasichuba istory,kunzima kunjalo zimpompoza inyembezi kum. Selina; i wont lie to U en say im not hurt,ngilimele umphefumlo Lee,en wat hurt me the most is dat i tried to kill that child so many times, ngisakhulelwe ngazama ngahluleka,esekhona ngazama ngahluleka,i think it was Gods plan ukuthi athole umdeni wakhe den ashone,im sorry nje ngoba uye waba yi transport to take her there. Me; im sorry you dont know how i feel i wish bekufe mina Selina;if U die who will look after me,no Bam,ngubani ozoyobheka umzimba ka Siya, I couldnt believe ngu Selina okhuluma kanje,she was hurt but calm,uye wahlala nam etrasini wathi mandihlale naye,she wants me to be there every step of the way, U ye waphaka U Jabu,kwatyiwa sathandaza,heyi engathandazi U Selina ndathi ngenene umntu uyatshintsha,siye sagqiba watya i treatment yakhe salala,i dnt wanna lie she didnt treat me bad,the next morning siye savuka sahlamba,U Jay wenza i breakfast,bahamba no Selina beyohlamba isidumbu,i choosed impahla mabamxibise zona,ezi ekagika ezinxibile mhla ezoshiywa ngunina. We had fotos ebendizithathe naye unana wam i choose the best pic Ncooh ,her smile was adorable,how i missed her,i didnt spend much time with her but we created memories dat no one will take away. Ndiye ndenza i nto esabu orbituary ,ndagqiba bebefika ke abantu ku busy,no Phez uye wafika bebengekabuyi o Jay Ufike wabulisa ndimve ngezwi wadlula esiza kum ekamereni Phez:how R U feeling Me: like someone ripped my heart out en throw it in the lions den Phez: im sorry Lee it shall come to pass ,U R a strong woman dear,U will overcome this Me: how will i overcome it,everytime xakuyi birthday yakhe i will fill guilty knowing i killed her Phez:can i tell U something Me; do U think dat will help me Him: yes im sure it will Me; shoot Him: nam i felt like this wen i lost my father kwi car accident,i blame myself till i realized if U Thixo wayengafuni umthatha U Tata nge engazange amthathe Me: hayi wethu ayifani lento i killed her with my own hands Phez,how will i forgive myself . Besendikhala ngeloxesha,uye weza kum U Phez waguqa,en hugged me assuring me everything will be fine, I felt safe again in his arm,listening to his haeart beat,how i loved this man,where did i go wrong,ndiye ndasuka esfubeni sakhe,we looked into each others eyes en kissed. I pulled out,im sorry its a mistake Phez: but it felt so good Me; it wont happen again uve moved on so nam i have moved on Phez; but U still wearing my ring Me: can we not talk about this. Siye sazincokolela no Phez,wabe endixelela kufuneka ndithenge ibhokwe yokwamkela umzimba,ndiye ndamnika imali ke wahamba ,nyani after 1:30 mins uye wabuya.wabophelela i bhokhwe ke,besendiyivulile i fone yam,i guess U Sam uye wandinika ixesha lo grieva coz i didnt receive any message from him. Uye wafowna U Jay endixelela isidumbu sizofika ekseni bendingayazi for ntoni nam,as i was still young, Babuyile ke babe bethenge inyama yegusha neye nkomo,ibininzi shame coz ibizoncediswa nayile yebhokhwe. Kuye kwaphilwa ke kwafakwa umthandazo. kwaphekwa kwatyiwa salala. Nomso sivuke ekuseni ke wabe U Jay no Selina bezayolanda isidumbu,nam ndivuke ndalungisa,ndafownela U sisPhindy (social worker) wathi bayeza.it was gonna be good to see my better half how i miss her. Lihambile ixesha wafika U Bam i was happy to c her,inyembezi ziye zawa i hugged her so tight oko ethe nca naye. Uye wafika umzimba ka Kamoe khange ndikwazi ukuzibamba i cried so much. Iye yaqhuba inkozo ka Sisi,nam ndakhe ndafumana ithuba to say my goodbyes ndiye ndaphakama ke ndahlabeleBawo xandilahlekayo Ndiphakamile ndavalelisa ku Kamo U left me wen i needed U the most,ur timing was not perfect,but inGod it was perfect,how i wish God had given me more time,to groom U,en teach U the challenges of life,how to stand up en be a strong woman,ur smile will always shine,ur presence was indeed a blessing,ur memory will last for eternity,U may be gone but not forgotten,ur spirit lives for even in our heart,hamba kahle maMthimkhulu,hamba kahle Thole,hamba kahle Ndlebentle zombini,Bhungane.,kuwe ndifunde into enye,uxolelwano,no Thando olungahanahanazi. Besezizehlela inyembezi egexa amadolo,ndiye ndayohlala phantsi bendingakhange ndiqaphele noba U Selina no Jay were next to me holding my hands. Iye yaqhuba inkonzo sayotshona emadlakeni,sambeka kwikhayalakhe unana kubuhlungu kunjalo. Iye yabanye into endiyifundileyo kwixesha endiye ndalichitha no Kamo luxolo,nokudlulisa,nokuthi umdeni ubalulekile. Lala ngoxolo Thole lomthwakazi,Mabhungane :( #LeeWoman
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 09:12:32 +0000
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