SETTLED OUT OF COURT In reviewing the responses to yesterdays post, both sides felt they would be better off settling out of court than leaving the decision up to the judge. All the garbage row claims for damages were dropped with the following conditions: Alex Browning has to buy Don Gilgrists dinner the next time they eat out and issue a public apology to him for all the psychological damage he has endured from his associations with Alex. Jill Easter has to be paid for her time and expertise in a likewise manner with a free dinner. Carolyn Hale Cubbedge is already owed a free breakfast at Waffle House and now can also claim a free dinner. In return, she must let Alex stay in her new house for at least one day if he ever comes within 50 miles of Savannah, Georgia. Carolyn further is prohibited from diagramming the sentence she wrote to support the defendant. Jack McGowan will get his usual fee for his services based on the value of those services as determined by a neutral third party--which, as usual, means he gets nothing. Further he has been reprimanded by the State Board for trying to promote the use of adjectives over adverbs. While the Board agrees that adverbs are weasel words, their finding also is that making too much use of adjectives just leads to flowery language, something totally inappropriate in this era of tweeting. Alex Browning has agreed to cease and desist with his practice of sending people to the garbage row, though he may continue to report on people who were sent there in the past. He also has agreed to refrain from posting anything else at all on facebook until after the November election. After that, he is free to embarrass himself in his usual manner and to humiliate anybody who has not defriended him. These terms should make everybody happy, including all those who never had any interest in the case or gave a damn anyway. But before he begins his forced recess, Alex did want to express good wishes to Ronald Astor Johnson and Steve Gagyi and would love to hear a report on their health. Alex also wanted Sue Ann Pangallo to know that he does remember her in English class, but he has no idea who Herb Kalbi was; nor does he remember any basketball players ever being enrolled in his English classes. He does recall one or two tennis players, though he says they were not very good students. Finally, Alex thinks Patsy Froebe should come up with something new to describe him because he does not think the word preppie fits anymore. He says he even has holes in some of his underwear now because of his meager retirement benefits from teaching at Lakota High School. (Hope everybody has a good next 2-3 weeks.)
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 13:25:18 +0000
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