SHADOW OF A CHAMELEON He wanted to forget her, and never ever think of her existence; but it could not be that easy, not possible actually. Day in and out he suppressed the memory of her, sending it to a dark hell he had created for it within his mind. But it was a stubborn memory, it kept coming back. He walked with a shadow that was indelibly printed on his mind. The shadow could change colours like a chameleon: today it wore a blue face, tomorrow brown and the other day violet. It wasnt good at all, at least not for his emotional health. But the memory of her stubbornly married him. He withdrew from his normal life, and loneliness was his everything - his companion. He could go without food for days, and his motivation was the biblical Christ who spent forty days without food nor drink, just to prepare himself for a great salvation mission ahead of him. If Christ did it, who am I not to? he assured himself. After all he was also on a great mission, his being an emotional healing one - not like that of Christ. He had embraced torture in his life, since childhood, but the one she subjected him to outclassed all his past experiences. She had put a mixture of pepper and salt on to his wound. He was determined never to forgive her. But the memory of her face, that beautiful face that housed the devil, and all it did to his tender soul, kept on visiting him in dreams - and sometimes in halluciations. He wanted to forget it, the face, once and for all. But his love for her! She was the only girl he truly loved, his first love. His heart had not yet tested the bitter sweetness of betrayal until he fell in love with Catherine. She was a very beautiful girl with an innocent face, but she was like a chameleon. He gave himself fully to her, being his first love. When it came to love and romance, he was inexperienced but not her. He had fallen in love with her shadow, a portrait of a whole different girl. It was beyond his knowledge. What mattered to him was the feeling that a beautiful girl had accepted his proposal; it was his first time proposing love to a girl, let alone a beauty of her type. * * * He still wanted to forget that beast, but he couldnt. The memory of her kept on driving hime, it was enough to prompt a feeling of anger towards anything around him; he turned violent. He hated love. He hated all girls, save for his sister.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 15:46:42 +0000
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