SMILING ONLY IN HIS DREAMS As the young boy walks home from school he sees her sitting on a bench….she’s a beautiful young mother waiting for the bus. He takes her deep into his imagination…remembers each an every detail…the red lipstick…the auburn hair…the form fitted sweater. He thinks about her often most notably when he goes to bed at night…he closes his eyes and see her smile…her graceful motions …the simple feminine way she would wisp her hair…was he fantasizing about being with her?…not even close….he was only about 8 years old…he dreamt of being her someday…he plotted and planned his nights away…when I’m 18 I’ll…when I’m 21 I’ll ..you know the story…he envisioned being her so much that now 40 years later…I still see her in my mind like it was yesterday. My whole life I wanted to be like her….like them…THEM!!!…but I was trapped in this miserable boy/man body and clothing…I was lost in a fake world in which I could only smile in my fantasies, while my reality became an acting performance…one that won me some fans as well as critics…but still…an acting performance. Well I may not actually be like THEM now…but I am finally ME…whatever that is…and of that I now stand tall and I also now realize that the fact I am still standing took great strength. If this story hits you hard…if you know exactly what I am talking about…than you my friend need to know that no matter where you are on your journey…hell, even if you haven’t started or ever intend a journey. The fact that you are still standing shows that YOU are strong…not week like we may have thought as children…cause I wonder how many so- called normal people could survive the mental torture we endured growing up? Stay wonderful…Stay Beautiful…Stay Alive!!! Jen
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 22:55:38 +0000
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