STORY 7. BONYEZA CASH. Now, it would be unfair to criticize some acting on screen when there are money issues involved. So let me narrate a small cashless story. Cast and crew help each other a lot these days on set, (especially the past 2 years)-help here in terms of soft loans after “Nisaidie na ka fare mazee, bado hakajabonyezwa”. Years before the current safaricom lottery started, Bonyeza existed as a set slang for ‘the producer says the bank has not pressed the pay button for us”. The explanation normally goes along the lines that the broadcaster has not yet paid. Hakajabonyezwa can happen a month, then 2nd, then 3rd, by which time even the richest dude on set has no cash to help, and in this story, it was the 4th month. So the production calls in the morning and asks why I was no on set. I said I had no fare and the matatus on our route do not ferry on credit. “What can I do? Broadcaster has not paid. BE HERE IN ONE HOUR OR ELSE!” the producer SMSd. I wanted to SMS the story below to the producer to tell them what they could do, but I never got to, since even my credit was zero. My sms would have gone like this : I think it was in 2005. I had got my first gig as a producer. The broadcaster was to pay at the end of every month for the aired programmes. So month 1, no pay. Crew started missing shoot days because “sina fare, hujatulipa”. Month 2 came, no pay. The broadcasters then were gods, independent producers were a new phenomenon and broadcasters thought they were desperadoes and were not well taken care of. It did not help matters that my sister had gifted me a vitz (if you see how that vitz carried cast and all grips equipment, you would not make those silly jokes about Vitz. It is a car, not a toy. But I digress.) “Ametumia doh zetu ku buy vitz!” the whispers started, and I went to an empty set one day. A mutiny had occurred. I went to the broadcaster with one Clifford Chianga son of Oluoch, to deliver that week’s programme. We asked about pay, and the broadcaster told us we chill, pay will come at an unspecified ‘soon’ Something flipped in me. “Well, is that so. Then this is the last episode we are delivering.” We walked out with the mini DV tape (hehe, those tape days!), I went and told the editor to add SEASON FINALE at the end, and rushed it back to the broadcaster. The following week they asked for the week’s episode, we said hey, didn’t you read the end? Season Finale. The cheq came months later. Clifford Oluoch got so frustrated he stuck to his daytime job coz his cheques come with no delay there. I stuck to TV, which is how I ended up with the SMS that could not be sent due to extreme poverty. Now that,is what I wished my producer to have done. Tell the broadcaster there is no way 4 months could have gone with our episodes airing and no cash in our pockets. I never sent it. And I was fired for deserting duty. This was post 2010 and by this time broadcasters had streamlined things and all stations had respected independent producers and pay would come on time. So when my producer sent another SMS “you can go to the broadcaster and ask why they haven’t paid!” I took their statement to action. I called the broadcaster (well, that is what my producer had told me to, hadn’t they?) “Barasa, we have paid for all those programmes, come and see. Your producer is playing games.” I went, and indeed, things had been paid to the producer but not to us. I have since done a fair share of producing and can confidently say that blame the broadcaster is a kalongo longo game. Sometimes things delay for a month. Or worst case, 2. But 3 months? Nooo. 6 months? Impossible. Someone is playing kalongolongo in a Zanzibar beach with your cash. I watch telly and I see bad acting but when I look into the actors eyes on the close up I can see they are just reciting lines because their mind is elsewhere, thinking if they will find a huuge padlock from the landlord locking them out etc etc. Why? 6 months hakajabonyezwa. Well, you have a way out. Act well or call it. And if you call it, the producer will have to call it to the broadcaster (heheheh…if indeed the broadcaster is to blame) and soon everyone will learn how to pay on time. Otherwise, you are not an actor, you are a SLAVE. You have nothing to lose dear slave except the chains of poverty. You will not die, infact, you might die of a 6 month hunger, dear slave. Before 2013 there wasn’t this level of blatant not paying up. Slaves like you flooded this industry and allowed kalongolongos to come in. Love the pain, slave. So if your programme is running on air, no amount of excuses can explain your bad acting on screen just because “we had not been paid for six months”. The reason you are being given that broadcaster story for 6 months is because you are stupid. You are a slave. The slavery ship stopped sailing hukoooo ma 1890s. Maybe we need to take you to CNN to show case another example of modern slavery. 2015, the year of our good Lord, is a year I will not agree to bonyeza kalongolongos. I think hapa nimejichimbia with producers who will not hire this name but heck if you are a good producer, with no kalongolongos, you have nothing to fear and will hire me, no? No? Did I hear a never? Hmm. Ok. PS: Cash is a sensitive issue so please if you are going to comment on this, exercise some sence of decorum and respect, no matter how pained you are. By Director Simiyu Barasa
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 08:00:00 +0000
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