SUPERBOWL 49 THE RETURN OF THE FSM My phone has selectable ring tones. I have two ring tones set up. One is for friends, the other is for unknowns. Yesterday, the phone rings, and the ringtone is neither of the two I have set up. In fact, it sounds like Joe Walsh screaming at the beginning of the song Meadows. I look at the screen and it says the caller is from, well, you guessed it, Meadows, WA. Ive never heard this ring tone, nor I have I heard of Meadows, Washington. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I answer This is Richard. Silence. Hello? I ask. Silence once again. Just as I am getting ready to hit the exit button, a commanding voice comes on, and states Do not hang up, this is not a sales call. Please hold while I connect your party. Well, Im always up for a party, so I hold on for a second. Hey, Flying Spaghetti Monster here. Pretty pedestrian manner of reaching me I state. He replies thought you were getting a call from Joe Walsh didnt you? It wasnt easy to get Joe to do that scream you heard as a ring tone. Ok, thats impressive. Been waiting to get a hold of you. Your football predictions at the beginning of the year really sucked. I sez. oohh no, they were spot on. How so? You predicted the Broncos and 49ers in the Superbowl! They are going to be so. What? No, sorry my friend, its the Seahawks and Patriots. Yes. In reality number 632 it is. In reality number 422 its the Broncos and Patriots. You did not specify which reality you wanted the prediction for, so I gave you number 422. If you knew anything about physics you would know that thousards of realities exist at one time. Clever, you stupid bag of noodles. I reply. Youre lucky you did not ask for the Canadian reality. In that reality, your precious Seahawks lost to the Packers. he states. I ask How could that be? Because there is only 50 minutes in a Canadian hour. He smugly answeres. To which I state, Oh man, you are something else today. You been smoking oregano or something? Nah, that stuff is only legal in Reality number 13. Ok, enough with the mutual insults, you ugly bag of mostly water. I got ahold of you to give you the lowdown on the Super bowl. He sez with a less than trustful smile. In my reality? Yes, in reality number 632. OK. Whats going to happen? Seattle is going to win. Thats it? its that simple? Nooo, not even that simple. But, a few Seahawks are going to let the air out of the Patriots game plan, pardon the pun. Ive instructed the spirit of Cliff Averill to lay an ass whoopin on Brady. Cliff-dude has been working hard all season, and not getting much attention. Its his turn. I also see that the spirit of Angry Doug Baldwin is angry because of the fool Doug is looking like, crying bout respect all the time. So He is going to lay a ton of bricks block on one of the Patriots corners that will reverberate into the desert of Arizona. And lastly, watch out, Russell is going to take control of the game midway through the second quarter to make up for his loss in Canada last week. I thought that was the Canada reality? Oh, youre right. But he still pissed in this reality. Why are you instructing their spirits? I cant instruct the players directly, that would be tampering. Who do you think I am? Bill Belichick? So, the final score will be Seattle by & -@@.... Hello? Hello? youre breaking up I say. Silence on the other end of the phone. Ive lost the voice, but still have the connection. Suddenly, another voice comes on. its the Rocky Mountain Way. What? is this Joe Walsh? Yes, who is this? Richard. I dont know a Richard, must have a wrong number, sorry. Click
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 04:52:41 +0000
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