SURROGACY---ADOPTION AND CHILDLESS COUPLES Adoption of a child has been the only option of a childless couple for centuries. Hindu Law treated a dattaka putra as a substitute for aurasa putra for the purpose of continuing the vamsa, inheritance and shraadha karma etc. Recent research has shown that the adopted child undergoes the trauma of having been snatched away from his natural mother’s lap even when the adoption takes place when the child was of tender age. Babies recognize their mother even when they are days old. The trauma of the baby was such that in a particular case after growing up the son told the mother: “You have five kids but you only gave me away in adoption because you thought I am a bad guy. OK, I will prove that I am a bad guy.” Note, he did not even address her as ‘mom’. A 54-year old Indian friend of mine, whose adoption took place when he was days old, wept inconsolably that it was his grandfather who ‘manipulated’ his adoption by his father’s issue-less brother. Taking a child in adoption or as foster parents is the best thing only in the case of kids in orphanages. The practice of adoption has fallen into disuse largely because parents do not have kids to spare because of family planning. The best alternative is surrogacy. Surrogacy is of different kinds and the best variety is in vitro fertilization (IVF) of husband’s sperm with wife’s ovum and implanting the fertilized egg in wife’s womb. That is, other things being equal i.e., both sperm and egg are healthy and the uterus is healthy. This becomes medically necessary where, for instance, the fallopian tubes are blocked and cannot be corrected etc. In cases where the husband’s sperm count is nil etc or where the egg of the wife is too small and incapable of natural fertilization, surrogacy in real sense becomes necessary. If the husband’s sperm is healthy and wife’s egg is not available, then they can go for surrogate mother and buy or borrow her egg and fertilize IVF with husband’s sperm and implant it in wife’s uterus if it is healthy. The wife will go through gestation and deliver the baby. The mother will have the satisfaction of being a “mother” in almost real sense except the egg is not hers. In this scenario, the husband may consider the option of not revealing to the wife that the egg is not hers so as to maximize satisfaction of ‘mother’s instinct’. This is my personal opinion as I have seen at least one case of psychological rejection by the mother. In our social conditions, a man may not like the idea of stranger’s sperm being used to fertilize his wife’s egg and wife carrying and delivering “somebody else’s baby” and in such a case the couple may have to go for total surrogacy—that is the sperm, egg and uterus are all borrowed. A contractual agreement. The difference between total surrogacy and adopting a child from an orphanage is that in the case of the former the kid is ‘born in the family’ and does not know of any other mother. No adoption trauma. This is only a broad picture of the issues which are many. We did a project on surrogacy in Canada some years back. Interested persons are welcome to write in confidence to my e mail ID. Of course, my service is just service. My fee is your happiness. :D
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 03:02:17 +0000
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