SWEET REBECCA OF SUNNY BROOK FARM & THE MACHINEGUN MAN Many years ago I had a good friend who, like I had Arabian Horses. We kept our horses at the same stable. I used to meet Becky at the barn every morning to feed, water, groom and perform other such equine responsibilities. Becky was petite and pretty. Her platinum braids and bangs framed a freckled face that radiated health and witty blue eyes. Her silicone cleavage and bright pouty lips teased and pleased to no end. One morning Becky found a rather large Copperhead snake in the stall with one of my mares. It was large for a Copperhead, about 3 feet long and heavy bodied. Becky calmly took the mare to the pasture while I retrieved an Uzi submachine gun equiped with a Sionics Suppressor (silencer). Dont fret. The weapon and silencer were fully licensed and legal. I slapped in a 32 round magazine and pointed the muzzle in the general direction of the snakes head. I hate to kill anything but the beast posed a real threat to the horses. If I removed it, it would only return in due course. I held the trigger down hard. The machinegun rattled in my hands like a jackhammer. The ground under the serpent erupted and the writhing worm was vaulted into the air. The snake hung suspended in the air by the ejecta that exploded from the repeating bullet impacts. In less than 2 seconds the magazine was empty. The hapless reptile fell to the upturned ground and twisted itself onto its belly forming a tight coil. It took a quick look around and slithered under the wall to the outside. It was completely unscathed! 32 rounds of 9mm in less than 2 seconds and not one single bullet hit the target. Becky picked up a shovel and went around the corner after it. I followed just in time to see Becky dispatch the snake with one fell strike of the shovel. She lifted the wriggling body by the tail and held it out at arms length while globs of gore dripped from it neck. The severed head lie on the ground, still alive, its large fangs biting at the air. She dropped the things and in an over animated manner she loudly exclaimed, Its dead, its dead. Oh thank you Machinegun man, you saved me!!! Then she hugged me tight around the neck and gave me a big kiss whispering, My hero. in my ear. Did I mention that she was witty? I think she just needed a good excuse to kiss me. Yeah. Thats it. ~Machinegun Man (Dennis)~
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 06:09:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015