Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. Howzit Saddam!, a broken English voice said. This is Koos here from the Doringboom Bar in Welkom, South Africa. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you boet! Jy gaan kak!!! Well, Koos, Saddam replied, This is indeed important news! How big is your army? Right now, said Koos, after a moments calculation, there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the entire pool team from the pub. That makes eight plus a rotweiler named Sokkies! Saddam paused. I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command. Liewe bliksem!, said Koos. Ill have to ring you back! Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. Saddam, my china, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment! And what equipment would that be, Koos? Saddam asked. Well, we have 4 Hilux double cabs, two combies, a bulldozer, and vet Gerts John Deer. Saddam sighed. I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, Ive increased my army to 1½ million since we last spoke. Nee o donner! said Koos. Ill have to get back to you. Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day. Saddam, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! Weve modified Doepies ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four okes from the Virginia hengel klub have joined us as well! Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. I must tell you, Koos, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, Ive increased my army to TWO MILLION! Goeie aarde!, said Koos, Ill have to ring you back. Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. Jis, jis, jis Saddam! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war. Im sorry to hear that, said Saddam. Why the sudden change of heart? Well, said Koos, weve all had a long chat over a couple of Klippies en Coke, and decided theres no way we can feed two million prisoners.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 07:41:45 +0000
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