Sanctuary- Can we make it to the end? Almost as soon as we pulled out of our driveway, Katheryn asks me, “Mommy, what does Sanctuary mean?” She was curious from the beautiful words of the sweet song, “Sanctuary” that was peacefully playing in our car. Today we were destined to hear those words to remind us that we have ‘Sanctuary’. We have a place of refuge and safety. It’s a sacred place, a safe haven, a place of holiness. And the beautiful reality that came to me while driving in the pouring rain towards another hospital visit, is that the place of holiness is within Katheryn and myself. For we “are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in us, whom we have from God, and that not of ourselves” (1 Cor. 6:19) We don’t have to run to a man made building called a Church and cry out, “Sanctuary!” to find our safety or refuge. We already have refuge and strength in God who is our present help in times of trouble as Psalm 46 proclaims. As the rain poured and pounded heavy upon our car, Katheryn asked to replay the sweet words of “Sanctuary”, and together we bathed in the presence of our Lord. As I watched her in the rear view mirror singing the words, I melted inside with overwhelming joy even while tears billowed in my eyes. A battle was going on in my thoughts, raging war with my weakened exhausted flesh. I kept wrestling with the Lord in my mind, “Can I make it to the end of this chemo year? What else must happen of which she has to face? Can I endure further and help my precious gal? Can she make it? Can Katheryn physically make it five more months?“ Brain tumor treatment is so tough and hard and unpredictable. Watching my sweet seven-year old basking in the Truth humbled my heart to great lengths today. The words of “Sanctuary” was pouring into her soul, taking her thoughts to the spiritual realm while she persevered physical bone pains and fever. Truly, in times of greatest discomfort we can often find our greatest rest. God is so good even in pain and struggle. His joy is complete. As tears meshed and melted with the raindrops sliding down our car’s windshield, I could feel the Holy Spirit reassuring me: I have you! I have Katheryn, I am here with you. The Lord will fight for her. I must remember that the Lord is our light and our salvation and that in Him we shall have no fear or dread of anything to come (Ps. 27:1). We arrived safely to the hospital despite the pouring rain and slick, trafficked roads. We are now admitted for the weekend because her ANC is 20 (which means serious risk of infection). They did blood cultures and we are waiting to see if Katheryn needs more antibiotics to help her body fight more specific infections while she has almost 0% white blood cells to do that work. She will be on scheduled antibiotics as her body recovers more white blood cells to kill the infections naturally until cultures come back with specifics. Please pray as the Spirit leads each of you that her bones would produce new cell life and that her fragile body would be restored quickly. At home this morning we were just settling in our routine of school and activities when Katheryn’s fever spiked to over 102. While giving hugs and kisses, I was telling some of our other children to pray for their sister. I assured them that she did not want to be in the hospital, nor did I, and that she misses them so much when she is gone from home. Our sweet Christopher echoed back almost immediately, Mommy, lets pray right now! His prayer was so Spirit led. It was as though he and the Spirit were having a conversation with Father in Heaven. It was so beautifully sung that it brought tears to my eyes. Truly, we were on the threshold of heaven itself as we gathered around our family’s kitchen island. Oh, it is beautiful what the Lord does in our pain! Just minutes before this sweet prayer, I was picking out jewelry for the day when my eyes caught the attention of a bracelet given to me when we lost our stillborn son, Joshua, just four years ago. Inscribed on the metal is, “Celebrate Small Victories”. I had put that on earlier as I was readying to leave home for hours of uncertainties. There is always joy when we are in the presence of Father! We can either choose to wallow in our pain or for the pain of others, or we can watch the Lord work and be strengthened. We can choose to celebrate small victories. But we cannot see the victory through the pain unless our eyes are focused on the One who gives life. It is a constant choice that takes conscious and deliberate action and belief. Peace is not a feeling that overcomes someone as a sign that God is working. Peace is in and of itself an entity or a presence that is always there in and with us because of the presence of God’s life in us. Often in times of greatest discomfort we find peace most present. Does it leave when times were easy, painless, uncomplicated, or manageable? No way. It never leaves us. God promises to never leave us nor forsake us, so He is a constant presence. We just notice and observe peace when we are faced with situations far greater chaotic than we can fathom occurring. Sanctuary…what a gift it is that we have it! We possess the holiness of God within. Old European Churches often built their massive, towering cathedrals in places to remember significant places of miracles or martyrs. The archaic places where certain churches were built were ‘made holy’ as a result of what had happened underneath or near to which they stood strong. How amazing that we, who believe in Christ, have been made holy and complete, not lacking anything. We don’t need a building made of stone to hold ‘sanctuary’ for us. We have it within. Katheryn and I felt God’s peace, presence, holiness, sacred love as we drove in the pouring rain to the hospital facing days ahead filled with more uncertainties. In the unknowns of tomorrow, Katheryn and our entire family will rest and find sanctuary through coming hours. Whatever may come and whatever goes before us, we will confidently conquer, for we stand in the presence of God. Colossians 1 reminds us all that God has “reconciled us to Himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, He has brought us into His own presence, and we are holy and blameless as we stand before Him without a single fault”.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 03:48:31 +0000
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