Savory Herbs and Spices May Mean Slavery.... ============/=/////////////=/============== The recent bit of indecent salaciousness involving the National Security Agency (NSA) spying affair surrounding their newly discovered protocol and methodology for data collection; has prompted reviews of the billions of records obtained during that time. Two new key pieces of information, with one pivotal source outside of NSA surveillance obtention program; was acquired through the ongoing WikiLeaks scandal; only sheds further light on even greater salaciousness; set to what critics are calling, slavery within the United States. It began in the early Spring of 2014 while Donald Anatis, an independent investigator appointed by the Congressional Oversite Commitee (otherwise known as COC;) was working and reviewing the dilemma, attempted to pour over some of the massive amounts of private information himself. It was when he was able to bring his audit home with him on his new complimentary corporate terabyte keychain; that the call records were subsequently discovered. Here is one that Mr. Anatis cleared ahead of the NSAs approval; MR. POPI: I am very interested in what was discussed. I must have that information. My finance just loves the items, she cant ever get enough, its just those picnic baskets are so heavy, jeeeeez I wish there was someone else to carry them and sose I was tinking, if I could just get it at home, well you know....it would put me well ahead of the competition...gggi gahh gi ghhhhhhaaaahh. My offer is sincere and should be more than adequate....hrumphhhhhh, Ill say hes taking me to the cleaners thats what I say....gi gig gahhhh MR. SAUNDERS: If you are sincere my good sir, then I say you should meet me at my sprawling provincial ranch house tomorrow for lunch. All that you need to know will be there as usual. If you bring your offer then you shall receive the goods. Say about 1:30 sharp? Ill have Rosemary meet you by the gate again; I think she is sweet on you and it is not just her delicious tea.... This conversation between a Mr. Popi and a Mr. Saunders was immediately transcribed, and then PDFed by the NSA super computer (being sent to various co-workers smart phones, on the fly and in a blink of an eye; all in real time as it transpired and then stored at four separate locations for the purposes of back-up and security;) now reveals that while this seemingly innocuous call took place, the participants were engaging in, what investigators have determined to be; coded language. It was when Mr. Anatis colleague, a one Mr. Douglass Firr, flagged the first tidbit, tantamount to such trepidations as human bondage while working for the defence team for the Private Manning case; that this particular email showed up again. The post was thought to be junk mail of sorts, private correspondence that got mixed up with the barely classified and hardly prosecutable information from some bureaucratic Colonels day planner; that was then disseminated to the world by famed WikiLeaks creator, Julian Assange. The email relates to an alleged secret luncheon meeting that took place shortly after the transcribed phone call. This email chain initiating from SailingMan@hotmale to a FingerLickinGud@gaggle, reading more like a telegram, goes as follows; To: FingerLickinGud@gaggle -------------------------------------------- RE: Offer Sincere -------------------------------------------- xx/xx/2014 2:45 PM Dear Mr. SAUNDERS, GI GI GIGAAAH GA, lunch was great. Rosemarys tea was delicious, what does she put in there, sunshine? But I am confused. I thought we had a deal. Every time I tried to correct you, you just kept lining up your butlers and maid servants. I must have what I require, ya see me and the missez is ceptcting a baby. Well she eats like a horse already, friggin fraggin, every time I gonna grocery shoppin; she is in there inhaling the contents. She just loves your product and well, I can have her coming to you, now can I? Hrummmphhhhhh. Sincerely, Popi ==================== TO: SailingMan@hotmale -------------------------------------------- RE: Offer Sincere -------------------------------------------- xx/xx/2014 3:16 PM Dear Mr. Popi, You are a funny little man, I wish I had ten of you. The items you requested were there. One took your hat on the way in. Another made our lunch, you cant forget Rosemarys tea. Another was cutting the grass and adjacent and not far; one more airing the wash. Would you like to meet for lunch again? Say the same time as last for Tuesday on the eighth? Yours Truly, Saunders ======================================== FingerLickinGud@gaggle -------------------------------------------- RE: Offer Sincere -------------------------------------------- xx/xx/2014 3:45 PM WTF!!!!!! ============================================================ SailingMan@hotmale -------------------------------------------- RE: Offer Sincere -------------------------------------------- xx/xx/2014 4:03 PM Mr. Popi, There is no reason for course language. You inquired about the secret seven herbs and spices and I had them ready for you. You seemed uninterested and rather perturbed as if you sought something else. Let me explain in the plainest terms. Since time immemorial, my family and I have been aristocracy of sorts, with others helping with the chores while we supervised. Mealtime was no exception, and thus our family recipes have been handed down generation to generation of which I was attempting to share with you. You see, it was all before you during service. Parsley did the table setting, shes sparse around the edges but with the right amount of zest and flavor, ya know what I mean. Rosemary of course helped Parika in the kitchen, that spicy redbone know just how much sass to lay on. Basil took your hat and coat. Pepper tended to the children, you need a little zing if ya wa t em to listen, while Salt her rather discontented half sister who often goes mute on the account she aint allowed to speak to no one, sat on your lap during lunch. Then finally there is Cumin, thats what he say but he is always late. Meet me for lunch Tuesday and well seal the deal. Youll get those secret seven herbs and spices for your darling wife, if I have to load them up in the trunk of my car and drive them to you myself all night. Sincerely, Saunders It was after this final email in the chain that Mr, Popi (aka Popeye the Sailor man of cartoon and franchise fame) simultaneously called the FBI and the local papers for what he thought was attempted human trafficking. In his defence Popeye said that he only wanted to snake the old geezer out of his formula for as what he described as everyone knows and loves the recipe. The FBI uninterested in the case referred it to the local Sheriff, Dan Mullberry from Pissmoff County who is still conducting his investigation. While the results of his undercover work have yet to be determined; he has however released ahead of any potential verdict this transcribed audio recording from Mr. Saunders (aka Colonel Sanders of equal iconic and franchise fame) bathroom. It goes as follows; COLONEL SANDERS: Parsely, I just dont get it. My charity is always taken for weakness. Unnnng (water splashing.) Its a good thing Im in tight with the governor, do you know what the regular police could do with such defamation?; Unnnnnnghhh (more water splashing.) PARSELY: Yes sir. Thats just what I told him, happy as can be. Im free to work here or is it work for free? COLONEL SANDERS: UNNNNGing (more water splashing,) darn your sass Parsley, now I have splash back. PARSELY: Shall I start with the right or left cheek sir, and shall we play Cliff Hanger again?.... COLONEL SANDERS: Yes but hold on good and tight this time and really get into the crack. Dont fall off like that pansy-ass Stallone While Sheriff Mullberry has yet to conclude his work and despite repeated calls to the FBI; whom seem totally uninterested in the matter; some of Mr. Sanders former employees are filing suit for what they call back pay based on the momentum generated in the media over this prospective case. The court date has yet to be set.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 14:07:23 +0000
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