Saw this on the internet. Hilarious (and probably accurate). Some guys prediction of how the Bills season will go down. One of my favorite lines: The only highlight from the game will be vertically-shot iPhone footage of some rowdy Bills Mafia getting into a parking lot brawl with those guys from Raider Nation that look like the offspring of a Darth Vader/Road Warriors/KISS orgy. ------ Weeks 1-4: A relatively favorable schedule will have us fall ass backward into being 3-1 and the BILLievers will be out in force, myself included. Weeks 5-8: Schwartz will prove useful against his old team and Watkins will have a big game against Detroit in Week 5. The matchup with the Pats in Week 6 will actually get some rare, pregame foreplay. New England will embarrass us. EJ will get hurt and be out 4-6 weeks. A warm body will take his place under center. Week 9: Well be 4-4 at the bye week with EJ still on the mend and several others banged up. Probably be on our 3rd string running back and waiver wire linebackers at this point. Weeks 10-13: This will be another 1-3 stretch. The season will unofficially end in Week 13 with Buffalo hosting the coming out party for Johnny Manziel. After throwing his third touchdown late in the fourth quarter to take a commanding lead, hell strut over to a sideline camera giving his money-finger-rub and taunt, Heard yall were for sale. Thinkin bout buyin yall with the money I made in college. By Tuesday morning, the top story on Deadspin will be an underexposed, grainy photo of Manziel blowing coke off of a Jills cheerleaders ass from Saturday night before the game. Weeks 14-17: At Denver, vs Green Bay, at Oakland, and at New England. Thats 3 ass whoopins wrapped around a late afternoon, season-garbage-time game that pits us against the Raiders in a scrimmage of the 5-9s. Well beat them in some weird, sloppy game by a score of 16-5 or something. The only highlight from the game will be vertically-shot iPhone footage of some rowdy Bills Mafia getting into a parking lot brawl with those guys from Raider Nation that look like the offspring of a Darth Vader/Road Warriors/KISS orgy. Well finish the year 6-10, 2-4 in the division. Ill be in the yard burning my Bills jersey and zubaz, grumbling to my wife about Goodell, concussions, and Tom Brady in an effort to rationalize why Im renouncing the NFL and becoming a baseball fan. To maintain my masochism, Ill choose to cheer for the Cubs.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:54:15 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015