..........Saw this today and it amused me 8-)........ The England football team has admitted that a fierce sense of national pride is only good for about three-quarters of an hour. The players who took part in last night’s thrilling 0-0 draw with Ukraine said that they took to the pitch all fired up about Shakespeare, Churchill and Kate Moss but then run out patriotism towards the end of the first half. Captain Steven Gerrard said: “At first we were keeping each other going with shouts of ‘Stephenson’s Rocket’, ‘The abolition of slavery’ and ‘Isambard Kingdom Brunel’, but as half-time approached we were down to things like ‘Fray Bentos pies’, ‘Homes Under the Hammer’ and the ‘24-hour Toby Carvery in Shenley Church End, Milton Keynes’. By the second half, after Roy’s team talk about ‘Last of the Summer Wine’, ‘Out-of-Town Retail Parks’ and ‘Fisherman’s Friends’, it was all we could do not to kick the ball into our own net.” Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Most of us are patriotic for just a few minutes a year at most, so we imagine that it’s more powerful than it really is. The truth, as professional athletes have discovered, is that dwelling on England for any longer leads to thoughts of queuing behind a Transit van on the M6, the wind whipping an empty Lidl carrier bag through a multi-storey car park and winning an out-of-date tin of biscuits in a Tombola. Greg Dyke is right – England must not win the World Cup.”
Posted on: Wed, 11 Sep 2013 17:48:53 +0000
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