Seems everyone has a breaking point... even me. And the past couple of week that my family and friends have endured of me, prove that I had reached mine. It had been a very long haul to good health after my diagnosis of Sarcoidosis in 2011 (Sarc is an auto immune disorder that mimics Cancer - Bernie Mac was a long time sufferer who past away from this disease), the along came Breast Cancer and it pushed the Sarc to second place of things that may kill me (or 3rd if you count my inlaws lol). In total, I am now in my 4th year of being unwell. To say I am over it is an understatement. To say it is not fair that my boys should have to put up with their Mum being sick all the time goes without saying...(not that they want for anything- just the worry it causes them is enough for concern.) After nearly 2 weeks of anxiety attacks, misery and fatigue, I saw a nurse who has tentatively diagnosed me with PTSD and Moderate Depression. She shocked me by nailing my personality within 20 minutes. She referred to me as a Laughing Depressed who could turn anything into a laugh and sweep it aside so i could continue to put on a brave face for those around me. My brave face has well and truly slipped these last few day... Last night as we laid in bed, I cried on Smooths chest as he tried to console me. Stupid broken body. Stupid broken head. no matter how much i tried not to cry, it wasnt going to stop. And then Smooth said If I had one wish, it would be that you could be how you want to be. Dont forget that you are a warrior and you have this beat. and it was enough to put my thoughts in order and jar some sense back into my numb head. So today, I have awoken for the time in 2 weeks with a smile and a positive feeling. Today I am going to be what I want to be. Today I am going to be happy. You go be happy too
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 01:23:41 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015