Seen enough of the MH370 media circus and feels utterly disgusted by the holier-than-thou cheap shots of CNNs Anderson Cooper in full view of American and global viewers on the purported incompetency and confusion of the Malaysian authorities, belittling every effort of our valiant SAR team and blaming every malady surrounding MH370 squarely on Malaysia, oblivious to the fact that over a dozen nations and scores of aircraft and surface ships and satellites thus far failed to definitively pinpoint the Boeing 777-200. Obviously, the attitude and mindset of these foreign media people have been poisoned by a toxic concoction of our own lack of articulateness and seeming disorganisation . . . AND the treacherous role of our own fellow citizens who go out of their way to condemn, insult and belittle their own country in the presence of these largely ignorant and increasingly perplexed foreigners. Hence, foreign reports are now increasingly tinged with local politics skewed heavily towards the fallacies spewed by Malay-hating scums who really shouldnt be recognized as citizens to begin with. NOW, the way forward ! As for the daily Press Conference, lets not call it a Press Conference lah. A Press Conference is reserved for momentous events, in this case only if there is a major breakthrough such as definitive discovery of the aircraft. Otherwise, call it a Media Briefing, a scheduled update of developments, with incremental progress reports of various leads and investigative modules within the larger, all-encompassing task of locating MH370. To the powers that be, my two cents worth:- Media Briefing 101 Location: A larger, better ventilated room. Go hold it at the PICC in Putrajaya. Not the cavernous Plenary Hall, but the more practical, flat-floor Putra Hall A or B. Ambience: Crank up the air-conditioner at 18°C full blast. Make sure the pesky, trouble-seekers masquerading as reporters shake and shiver under your gaze. Reptiles lose body heat pronto under such conditions. Amphibians will go on hibernation mode. Good. Only real, warm-blooded primates will be able to pose the relevant questions. Seat Logistics: Line up the presenters/briefers behind a long stout table up a 2m raised pedestal. Be SEATED at all times. Do not pace aimlessly behind the table looking down at your furry paws. Place the reporters and assorted trouble-seekers in proper seats behind long continuous rows of tables firmly affixed to the floor 2m below. One seat per slimy butt please. No seating on floors, no hanging up the rafters, no rolling contortions on the carpet, no loitering up and down the aisle. No chit chat or ching chong ching chong allowed in the proceedings. Appearance: Comb your hair, wash your face, put on a monkey suit and act imperial. If you arent naturally imperial, act lah! If you cant do any of these, then grab a broom and go sweep the floor into the sunset. Get lost! Let someone else do it. Appearance and perception of competency is everything here. You may be supercompetent in the intricacies of multiple frequency flight radar calibration and whatnot, BUT if you dress in rags and speak like a self-indulgent juvenile in detention class, then you shouldnt be up there making a mockery of the whole thing, not to mention the nation. NOW . . . Media Attendees: Make sure these are true reporters representing legitimate news organisations and not some Leng Chai from some NakTunjukMelayuBodoh subversive portal out to create a ruckus and cause trouble and humiliate the officials and the country at one go under the gaze of the world. From the previous circus-type briefings, many of these trouble-seekers shouting incomprehensibly stupid questions at the top of their voices in mangled Chinglish should never have been in the room. Rules of Engagement: Everyone STFU when officials on the pedestal speak. Each person is allowed ONE question. To ask a question, raise one hand while ShuttingTFU at all times. The relevant official will select the questioner. Once selected, the questioner must stand up and remain standing, identify him/herself and the news organisation he/she represents. The others will STFU at all times, especially when the officials are addressing the specific queries of the selected questioner. The next questioner will be selected, same process, with the others ShuttingTFU . . . and so on. AS FOR THE OFFICIALS . . . I dont care if you are the Director General of Planet Mars or the CEO of Halleys Comet or a four-star general commanding the Mercun Bola artillery regiment BUT if you cannot articulate simple thought processes into reasonably intelligible vocal sounds amenable to the ears and comprehension of your fellow humans, then you shouldnt be on that pedestal. Get others who are more articulate, hopefully more competent and a tad more presentable to be the face and mouthpiece, the poster boy or gal, of your organisation. We call this person a Spokesman or Spokeswoman. The U.S. state department, Pentagon . . . the Chinese foreign ministry . . . the Japanese maritime authority . . . etc., etc. . . . ALL have designated, well-groomed, fully-briefed and exceptionally articulate spokespersons to handle the media briefings. Many here may remember Ari Fleischer, the White House press secretary who competently and articulately handled media briefings in the early years of George Dubyas disastrous presidency. We need Ari Fleischer-type people to represent the DCA, Mindef and MAS. OK, . . . no need to reinvent the wheel. Hence, refined snippets of what I wrote earlier to advise our officials on Media Briefings:- - Exhibit Body Language indicative of your competency and coherent grasp of the issues at hand. - Look straight into the beady eyes of your questioner when responding to his/her queries. - Be in complete control of the proceedings and not allow stupid rhetorical questions by uncouth cub reporters of the local subversive media to erode your composure and distract your thought process. - The foreign media must be better handled. Dont be trapped by borderline mischievous leading questions by these people who themselves are pressured to unearth new developments by their HQs. - Maintain your composure; you dont have to rush your replies; dont sound defensive or angry or pissed off or on the verge of either losing it or running amok; dont appear to be giving excuses for things beyond your or anyones control; speak clearly and slowly. And please dont add and jumble distinct factoids, e.g., passport stealing syndicates and we follow all protocols into the conversation. Maintain focus on the primary mission, which is to locate MH370. PLUS:- Please communicate and compare notes and findings among yourselves BEFORE you go face the world out there. Check and double check all facts. Mobilise every available competent staffer to undertake this task. TALK to each other. Do not ever contradict yourselves in front of the world. If you made a mistake, say so, and move on. AND FINALLY:- There must be ONE single undisputed leader lah. Putting all these very senior heads and chiefs and commanders of thousands upon thousands of men and women into the same playpen is already a daunting endeavour, BUT to let them function without a central leadership figure up this multiple chains of command would be disastrous in ANY scenario. In our system, the politicians like to lead. So let THEM take the lead. And since Najib is no leadership material and has effectively abdicated his role in this crisis, then Hishammuddin H2O, as Defense and acting Transport minister, is the obvious choice. So please take the lead my old friend. The nation is behind you, praying and hoping with you and your SAR team. Please show greater leadership. Take the lead, minister! #PrayForMH370
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:32:22 +0000