Self Impediment Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. +++++++ This week I have to deal with disappointments. How very true that with great expectations come great disappointment! When one has expectations of others, one is bound to get disappointed if the person in question failed to live it up. Certainly, this is likely a case of misplaced illusion of a perfected being whom one has chosen to concoct out of a subjective perception. One expect so and so to be this and that and probably more. I guess I set myself up for disappointment when I have certain perceived expectations of people. My MIL used to laugh and say it to my face every time we met up that I cant force a square peg into a circle. I detested it. Yet, through the years of encounters within and without the families and friends, this hard truth had dawned sadly on me. We are all meant to be different. No two persons can be exactly the same in personality/outlook in life. Though I want nothing more than to return home to be with Jesus/God in eternity, it does not mean that others share the same ideal/aspiration/desire. I have been too presumptuous! Indeed, in the last few years, I have slowly come to terms with this reality. Fr Robert Rolheiser wrote an article in the latest catholic news titled On being always distracted put it that we arent persons who live in habitual spiritual awareness who occasionally get distracted. We are persons who live in habitual distraction who occasionally become spiritually aware. How very true that we are constantly distracted yet how very sad! I cannot agree with him on this because to me, it is a way of justification. An excuse for our preference for a spiritually easy life over one of vigilance, total commitment and diligence to Gods Will and Plan for us! It is definitely not wrong and certainly Gods intent for us to experience life here to the fullest and encounter His Presence. However, shouldnt one also remain focused on Gods Promise and carrying out His mission which He has for each and everyone of us. Instead, we allow ourselves to constantly get sidetracked/distracted and then comfort ourselves by saying it is okay, God understands? Of course He understands. That is why as mentioned in Father Rolheisers article, like the man, who walked with God down the road and asked Him: What is the world like? got himself distracted for 30 years when he went to fetch a cup of cold water for God. He had to have his house uprooted by a hurricane before he remembers God again. God knows our human nature that unless there are all sorts of calamities, we will not be bothered/attentive/remember what is really crucial at Hand. Yet, in such instances, there is hardly any realization/epiphany but only blame games especially with haughty audacity to lash out at God! Is God our punching bag? Jesus has warned us of The Day of The Lord. We do not know when. But He has cautioned us repeatedly. As He said in Matthew 26:41, Stay awake [Keep watch] and pray for strength against temptation [or not to fail the test]. The spirit wants to do what is right [is willing], but the body [or human nature; the flesh] is weak.” I shall dread the Day when I come before Him and He asked me this question: Luke 6:46 Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? How many people have laughed and snicker at my seriousness/pretense to live a Right life? From the age of 30, I have lived on borrowed time. I should have been dead and gone to the abyss. But God choose to save me out of His Love and Mercy for me, a pathetic worm, lost in this physical world. Now, heres the Real deal. My perceived disappointment of others is in reality, a mirror reflection of my own disappointment with myself. How often was I filled with pride of my achievements with regard to my faith acquisition? But is Faith an acquisition? Is it supposed to be an achievement? Should I be smug of what I presumptuously perceived to know through Grace? In truth, Ive allowed myself to be side-tracked and occasionally forgot what God has done for me and what He asks of me. No, He certainly does not whisper in my ears or put ideas in my mind. It is almost always through the upheaval in the mundane affairs! The borrowed time for me is to put my life in order. To straighten the crooked path I had walked in my early life. Through His Grace, to heal and forgive myself and others. To restore my dignity and live as His daughter. To learn to love and to live life well. To share my spiritual journey, if only just as a journal for further reflections, or else through the sharing, hopefully be able to encourage those who are walking alongside with me in this pilgrimage. As such, it becomes imperative that I have to be selective with who I associate with. Now, I hang out mostly with those within the same Faith and those who believe in living Right. It is not about looking down on others but rather as an avoidance for occasions of sins and self impediment. As St Paul advised in 1 Corinthians 15:33, Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals. It may offend some/many, but it is a Choice I have to make in consideration of The Path I have chosen. However, that does not mean I am so uptight and I do not know how to relax or play. I am a lay person and I have a family. It is just that I cannot allow myself to take it too easy with the borrowed time because I do not know when it will expire. I remain positive and in anticipation of His Coming. I just need to persevere in doing good according to my conscience. I cannot lay expectations on others. I can only expect myself to do the best. In Galatians 6:9, St Paul encouraged - And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. I shall remain vigilant in staying Awake and keeping Watch. +++++++ Heavenly Father. Forgive me. Jesus Christ. Remember me. Holy Spirit. Counsel me. Amen.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 07:30:40 +0000
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