Sellers Terms...what they say & what they mean... • Big Trot: cant canter within a 2 mile straightaway •Nicely Started: we can lounge him, but we dont have enough insurance to ride him yet •Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane •Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front porch •Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse •Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow •Doing Courses: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand •Well Mannered: hasnt stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week •Professionally Trained: hasnt stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month •Should Mature 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA •To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document •Bold: runaway •Athletic: Hes a runaway, but he looks good doing it •Needs intermediate Rider: runaway •Needs Experienced Rider: dead runaway •Dead Quiet: just dead •Started O/F: Started overfeeding because we cant ride •No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle •Light Cribber: we cant afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw •No Time For Him: hes lucky to be fed •Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stall •Clips, hauls, and Loads: Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him • Great Halter Prospect: Bred for beauty, not for brains •Selling due to divorce: My spouse certaintly couldnt stand him... • Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldnt blink. • Good Mother: Shes too dumb to do anything else. • He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear... • Flasy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable • Stunning: youll be stunned at his kicking power •Very Brave: even a whip cant force him back •Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before hes too lame to walk •Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby •Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him •Great Bloodlines: He cant do anything, but thats okay becuase some horse 20 generations back did something •Already Broke: two fences, one arm, six buckets • Got Cow Sense: hell attack any cattle within a 5-mile radius •Unregistered: probably stolen • Protective Mother: dont even think about going near the foal • Ladys Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men • Good Disposition: The only good thing about him • Selling Due to Retirement: hes making us old • Started Good: we quit while we were ahead • Started: we quit while we were still alive • Loud Color: we spray painted him bright red • Really Broke: literally • Slight Nervouse Habit: he shakes and has muscles ticks anytime anyone asks him to think • Great Stud: breeding is the only thing hes good at • Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they will survive • Smooth: you wont notice hes bucking until youre on the ground! •Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse •Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse •Hack Prospect: Pretty Color •Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse •Camp Prospect: Fast Horse which can turn •Endurance Prospect: Fast Horse which will turn sometimes •Flashy: White Socks •Attractive: Bay •15.2hh: 14.3hh •16.2hh: 15.3hh •To Loving Home Only: Expensive •To Show Home Only: Very Expensive •Needs Experienced Rider: Potentially Lethal •Elegant: Thin •In Good Condition: Foundered •Free Moving: Bolts •Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs •Dead Quiet: Lame in All Four Legs •Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind •Loves Children: Kicks and Bites •Pony Type: Small and Hairy •Arab Type:Looks startled •TB Type: Looks Terrified • Quarter Horse Type: Chunky •Halter Horse Type: Fat •Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy •Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy •Easy to Catch: Very Old •Must Sell: Wife has left home and taking kids •All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months •Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the pasture fence, if you can ever catchim, you might just have yourself a great jumper!
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 11:37:03 +0000
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