September 22: Dear Bagginses, We would like wish you a happy birthday. We really do. We seem to have misplaced our party invitation, along with the gift. Oh wait, never mind, you already have the Birthday Present. We seem to recall that we tried to discuss this with you calmly and rationally at our last meeting, Frodo, but you seemed distracted; that’s the only explanation we can think of for your telling us to go jump in a lake (of fire). We have been trying to be as reasonable as possible, given that this has been an issue for some 76 years now… We do know that you have failed to respond to any of the communication sent by our representatives at Gothmog, Gothmog, Shelob, Angmar, and Gothmog; they also are getting frustrated with your lack of response; no one is taking seriously the “no forwarding address” response. Angmar in particular seems very put out; he keeps muttering something about “sending in Honey Boo Boo”---we aren’t sure what that means but it sounds like something to be avoided... We had hoped to find some way to salvage our friendly relationship despite these problems; after all, nothing forms bonds of friendship more than swapping a few riddles or cooking coneys together (and by the way, in case he’s still getting on about that, please let Sam know we have found multiple recipes for rabbit tartare that he should open his mind to…) and a matter of “the least of rings” (as our old friend Tevildo might say) shouldn’t get between us. Let’s see if we can let bygones be bygones and just follow your old custom of giving birthday presents to everyone even if you’re not on good terms with them. We hope that we can all get past this and resume a civil relationship---we for one are happy to forgive and forget the unfortunate incident regarding the finger and the banana peel if you are. In any case, please answer soon. Regards to the family, especially Lobelia. We have a special fondness for her; she reminds us so much of our grandmother. With our best wishes, Smeagol PS Goldberry sends her love; she regrets that she can’t attend the party but being that close to the ex makes her very uncomfortable. I’m sure you understand...
Posted on: Sun, 22 Sep 2013 17:10:13 +0000
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