September 28, 2014 Positive Christianity Ministries presents...Positive Daily Inspiration SUNDAY FUNNIES Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 POSITIVE DAILY INSPIRATION TELEVISION CHANNEL youtube/PositiveChristianity Reply - if you have a prayer need, Positive Christianity will start praying with you, daily, for an entire month. There Is Never a Charge for Prayer. Don’t let the learning from your own experiences take too long. If you have been doing it wrong for the last ten years, I would suggest that’s long enough! -- Jim Rohn ______ Once a young man proposed to his girl as they sat looking over of beautiful Lake, Darling, I want you to know that I love you more than anything else in the world. I want you to marry me. Im not wealthy; Im not rich. I dont have a yacht or a Rolls-Royce like Johnny Brown, but I do love you with all my heart. She thought for a minute and then replied, I love you with all my heart, too, but tell me more about Johnny Brown. ______ What you get when you cross a cockerel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cookapoodleboo! ______ Sad, but reportedly true. . . A lady at her work was seen putting a credit card into her computer disk drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy. ______ A man was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister. He asked the manager what had happened. He told him that the driver had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich ______ Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message Hes lying was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasnt telling the truth. Believing the lie detector was working, the suspect confessed. ______ A mother called 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer. . . Dispatcher: “Rush him to emergency!” ______ I have kept this in the file, because it makes me laugh every time I look at. During the great recession of 2008 a man wrote this letter to his bank: Dear Sirs, In view of what seems to be happening internationally with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could advise me about the following: If one of my checks is returned marked Insufficient Funds, how do I know whether that refers to me – or to you? Yours faithfully, ______ Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss. (You gotta read this one out loud) If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesnt hash, then your situations hopeless and your systems gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, thats repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall. And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, cuz sure as Im a poet, the suckers gonna hang. When the copy on your floppys getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions are causing unnecessary risk, then youll have to flash the memory and youll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom! God bless you for your donation! Online donations positivechristianity.org/donation.htm Donations by mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77380 POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER: I pray that the desires of my heart lead me to a happy and fulfilling life. I pray that I am free of tendencies and habits that do not contribute to my well-being. Dear God, I ask You to give me the strength needed to put aside unwanted habits and tendencies. As I pray, I affirm the truth of the overcoming of Gods Spirit within. I feel strong and stable. I become a master of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I accept the heritage of complete freedom over my former self. Dear God, with Your help I live in freedom and in accord with my best self. In Jesus Christs name… Amen POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: In prayer, I attune myself to the freedom of Spirit. POSITIVE FUNNY QUOTE: Committee – a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen SUNDAY TRIVIA (Answer tomorrow) What building has the most stories? POSITIVE PRAYER TELEVISION CHANNEL youtube/prayerAmerica POSITIVE CHURCH TELEVISION CHANNEL youtube/PositiveChurch The great spiritual retreat cruise to New England and Canada, 8 nights at what should be the height of the fall colors. Royal Caribbeans Grandeur of the Seas leaving and returning from Baltimore, October 1, 2015 beginning at $493 per-person plus taxes - After sign-up for our onboard spiritual retreat $97 per-person. We book the block of rooms over one year in advance, to get this pricing advantage for you. The only negative is it is limited in size (because its one of the most popular cruises) and will sell out by this Christmas. It makes a great Christmas gift for someone special. What makes life rich is to always have something to look forward to. Full info and links to sign up: positivechristianity.org/retreats.htm Note to major donors: giving $500 per calendar year and up, you are approved to book our spiritual retreat cruise WITHOUT paying any program fee, just contact us (Reply) and tell us you would like to go. Prayer CDs and downloads, and other great stuff: positivechristianity.org/gifts.htm PositiveChristianity.org - Positive Daily Inspiration is a free service. Subscribe easily on our homepage. Positive Christianity Ministries Box 7993 Woodlands, Texas 77380 God bless you, Make it a GREAT day!_______Christopher Ian Chenoweth
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 11:49:35 +0000
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