Several of you have asked me to give you an update of how things are going so you will know how to focus your prayers…. I had my 2nd chemo treatment a week ago (on Monday), so I spent most of last week just puttering around the house, walking each day (albeit slowly on a few of the days), and resting when needed. The nausea has been a very minor issue (thank you LORD!), and the fatigue did not seem as severe nor did the joint/bone pain seem as acute this time!! I continue to take a huge handful of supplements/minerals every AM and PM, plus several other juices, etc. that support my immune system and help target cancer cells… I also do acupuncture once a week to stimulate my immune system. Bob and I feel God has provided and directed us to use a multi-faceted natural approach to support my body and the effects of chemo, and so far it seems to be meshing very well. I am now bald (I was losing my hair in earnest and therefore had my head shaved), and am surprised that it is not really much of an issue for me. I rarely wear a hat at home (unless my head is cold!), and have even gone out in public without a hat or scarf… I do wear one if I am ‘dressing up’ or think it would make the people I am talking to or seeing uncomfortable… I am shocked that I seldom wear one because I AM UNCOMFORTABLE… I have thought about this and decided that years ago I chose to be real and vulnerable, and this is just who I am: I certainly don’t go ‘hatless’ to flaunt it, but I do go hatless because I feel more integrity within myself by not ‘hiding’…. Bob says I have a beautiful head, and I appreciate his encouragement and kindness…. All that being said, I do enjoy wearing hats as well, and certainly feel no judgment for those that can’t leave home without one…. I took my first solo public outing on Sat. and went to the Farmer’s Market in Hamilton… I figured it was outdoors, so my exposure to germs would be limited, plus I took plenty of disinfectant wipes along in case I carelessly touched things…. It shocked me that the outing was emotionally much harder than I anticipated! I would see a familiar face, someone I loved, someone I knew was praying for me (us) and I would start crying… It was very hard, but also very wonderful to be out among normal happenings again… I also stopped into a booth (of a friend of mine) that sells handmade pottery, and helped her make some sales for a while. It was such an infusion of life for me, yet by the time I decided to head home I was both emotionally and physically tired… Yesterday Bob, April, Christian, and Phoebe went to church for the first time since my surgery. I stayed home. I was glad to see them find their own routine and ‘normal’ once again, yet once again, the emotion of it caught me off guard… I left to go on a short bike ride while they got ready for church, and I thought ‘this will be nice… I will get some exercise, some time to myself, and they will get to go to church’…. All was well until I started heading back towards home and they passed me in the car (waving) as they headed to church… Suddenly a feeling of separation and being very alone fell upon me… It seemed to have a permanence about it, as if it was one more step towards separation and what ‘normal’ life will be like if and/or when I am gone…. I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling, and to tell you the truth, I sit here writing this with tears streaming down my cheeks… So, apparently, I still have not shaken the feeling… Anyway, please continue to pray that the chemo and all God has directed us to do would completely obliterate every single cancer cell. I actually feel God has spoken to my heart that He has and IS doing a great thing in my body, so I feel like one of ‘little faith’ when I have to admit that I also have these ‘dark’ moments that I spoke of in the previous paragraph… How God puts up with this sometimes makes me wonder…. Also, here I am, writing this at 5:00 AM, because I have been awake with insomnia since 1 AM…. Insomnia has been a real issue since I have started the chemo. I am not sure if it is 100% related to the chemo or whether it is also related to the huge hormonal change in my body… Anyway, I know I need proper rest in order for my body to be strong, so please pray that would not be an issue… You will NEVER know how very much Bob and I feel loved and covered by all of your acts of kindness, prayers, and love…. It is life to us…… Thanks you! Now, update on our eldest daughter, Sarah…. When I last put out an update on her and asked you to pray that her hemorrhaging would stop (she is about 20 weeks pregnant with a son {named Ansel}), it immediately slowed to just spotting!! However, just recently it has started up again, and she has been losing a LOT of blood! She is very weak and exhausted, and I think she should consider seeing if she needs a blood transfusion. However, she does not want one unless absolutely necessary…. Anyway, would you please pray for a miracle that God would heal the tears in her uterus that the bleeding would stop? The baby seems fine at this point. She needs to carry Ansel for several more weeks before his chances of living outside of utero would be good. However, I am not even praying for that; I am praying that she will be able to carry him full term and he will be robust and healthy! Would you please pray for Sarah and Ansel? Thank you so much! Blessings upon you and your family, Cinda and Bob
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 09:07:52 +0000
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