Shadow Self IV – My Old Friend After my shadow self loosened and showed me all of my shadows and answered my questions about what it meant, I experienced that deep feeling of shift, like the ground settling after an earthquake, and tried to feel the difference in me. I said, “Wow! Am I really clear now?” I honestly couldn’t tell yet. He said, “Yep, you’re as fearless as a three year old.” I frowned slightly at that. I suppose that by age three we have some shadows, but not too many. I told myself that I didn’t want to appear ungrateful and ask why he hadn’t cleared me as fearless as a newborn. I visualized my own brave little curly haired three year old self with her hands on her hips stomping and declaring, “I’m not afraid of anything!” Then a huge wave of gratitude swept over me, and I smiled and looked deeply into the eyes of my shadow. He felt like a friend, and I had the impulse to hug him. I leaned forward automatically then rocked back on my heels in the journey, unsure if that was appropriate. I decided first to ask his name, and if he always took the form of a shadow self or if he ever got to embody as a human and other souls? He said that I can call him ‘Livingston’ because it was his last human embodiment, long ago (which I understood was at least a couple hundred years ago). He showed me that he lived as a man somewhere around Great Britain, I think in Scotland. In that lifetime he was very fearful, being pursued by a different shadow spirit who really did a thorough job of wrapping him in lots and lots of sticky webs. Livingston declared, “It’s just!” Then he explained, “The shadows experience what it feels like (so they can be good shadows for other embodied people next)”. Later I felt compelled to look up the name ‘Livingston’ - a clue to investigate later. I thanked him sincerely for shadowing me. I asked if he is part of my team of healers and he shook his head firmly ‘no’ and said, “Oh no, I work alone!” I worried about him then and asked if he is enjoying his spirit assignment and gets to interact with the other spirits in my village? He said that he keeps to himself mostly but that he interacts with them occasionally, and that he finds it very enjoyable. I asked him if I’d be visiting him again? He shook his head – ‘negative’. I understood that he’d done all of this healing at once, and that’s why it had been so intense. I asked him, “Is that why I just rested the last few days?” I was thinking of the rocking I’d received two days ago when I tried to journey. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I tried to journey three times and just kept being rocked like a baby in a hammock, in the dark. He confirmed it. He said, “I wanted you to be ready.” I asked him if he would be leaving now to go shadow another embodiment or to have a different type of spirit or soul experience? He looked truly surprised and declared, “No!” and then said with emphasis, “I’m going to stick around for the celebration!” He smiled and his eye twinkled, and I didn’t feel worried for him anymore. I asked if I could give him a hug. He immediately turned back into his shadow self, like a dark mist of tiny black particles collected in a cloaked human shape. I leaned forward into the cloud and although I couldn’t feel him as a physical body, I felt him as a density wrapped around me, and we rocked together in joy. Wow! I hugged my own shadow self! My own mind gets blown at least once a week still, by what I learn, often every day – even multiple times. This journey was definitely mind-blowing. I smiled and mentally shook my head in wonder as I reviewed in my mind - the shadow spirit that guides each of us in a lifetime is part of our karma with that spirit. Our shadow spirit and higher self and embodied soul collaborate on our shadow work during a lifetime, just as any other spirit guide works with us. We arrive clear, and we are taught our shadows as we go, for whatever multi-layered reasons. I’ve tried to imagine myself in Livingston’s role. Being a shadow spirit for someone else seems like an important and conscientious and very sensitive job. How would it feel to wrap a friend or family member in shadows in their next lifetime, and see them become layered up with shame and worry, even knowing that it was serving some important purpose? I can tell that he did an excellent job of giving me the exact shadows I needed, no more and no less. I bet he really enjoyed the unraveling part today – being the ghost, choosing the haunted house setting, and all of the spooky Alice in Wonderland and Loony Tunes and Disneyesque visions he gave me today. I really enjoyed it! It reminded me of some of my very favorite books and movies too, and also my favorite childhood cartoon ‘Scooby Doo’. I keep thinking about how all of the scary monsters are unmasked in the show, and turn out to be just the old man down the street trying to keep the developer from building on the wetlands. I loved how those meddling kids and their dogs always split up to search for clues, and then in the end they always worked out a master plan to solve the mystery together – involving lots of fun chase scenes and antics and theme music. Then they got to drive off in their Mystery Machine, having snacks! My spirits used to play ‘Scooby Doo’ with me. I wonder if Livingston used to play all of the villains? He truly couldn’t have planned a more perfect healing celebration today. (Hallow ~ January 21st, 2014) Find more stories at https://facebook/ChaosKrakens Image - Villains from the Scooby Doo animated cartoons by Hanna-Barbera Productions
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 02:55:58 +0000
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