Sharing my heart and remembering Sam as his 4 year Angelversary approaches on 8/20/2014. Thank you to all who have been on this journey with our family for the past 5 years. So many prayers and so much support from so many of you. I cant begin to tell you how that has helped our family to move forward each and every day while honoring Sams memory. We will never forget Sam and will honor him in all we do through the foundation. Thank you walking this journey with our family and believing in the mission of the foundation and all of the families that we help. Forever missed and loved. Another month goes by and we are nearing the 4 year anniversary of Sams Angelversary (8/20/2014 will mark 4 years) since our sweet boy left our arms and entered the arms of Jesus. I look at this picture and so many memories come to mind. We had just returned from Sams Make A Wish trip to Disney. He was in the best spirits and he was showing all the doctors and nurses at the hospital some of his prized possessions from his trip which included his wand from Harry Potter World at Universal. He was happy and we had HOPE. Sam was supposed to have one treatment left for Osteosarcoma and we thought we would finally be able to move forward with all of our lives. Moments after getting these pictures taken I met with the doctors and found out that Sam had relapsed with Osteosarcoma in both of his lungs. His last chemo treatment would have to be postponed until he had additional scans. We were devastated. How could we possibly go from having one treatment left to facing a relapse and additional surgeries for our sweet boy. We were still in fighting mode even though our hearts were broken. Sam had already had 3 lung surgeries and we knew we could fight this and face this again. Sam had additional scans the next day and we met with doctors at the end of the week to develop our plan of action. We knew when we entered the room and met with our doctors that the news was not good. Our doctors did not even want to show us Sams scans but we insisted on seeing them. All of Sams scans were lit up throughout his body....all of the lit up areas were cancer. The cancer had taken over. His treatments had not been working. Cancer was not only in Sams lungs but throughout his entire body. He had received the highest doses of chemotherapy for the cancer that he had and it had not worked. He had endured 4 surgeries in a matter of one year and countless inpatient stays in the hospital and his body was not responding to any of those treatments. I cant even describe the complete feeling of helplessness and utter despair as we had to make the decision to bring our son home and call in palliative care. Sam knew he had relapsed with cancer. I will never forget his tears, his yelling for his doctor to take his other leg if this would take the cancer from his body. Sam understood that his body was failing him and as his parents all we could do was hug him, cry with him, pray with him and just love him through this. I am thankful that as a 9 year old that Sam did not completely understand the context of time. He knew he would someday pass away as a child but in his mind I think he thought he still had a lot of time left to live his life. We made sure that any remaining time our son had left on this earth he would do what he loved. We saw movies, went out to eat, played video games, arranged for Sam to spend time with this friends. We cherished every moment not knowing when that last moment would be. We had 2 good weeks with Sam when he was brought in with palliative care. 2 weeks that we were able to enjoy life with our son while having such a heavy heart in the midst of this. 2 weeks of doing our absolute best to treasure every moment and make sure that Sam knew he was loved and that he would be ok. We talked about Heaven a lot. Sam knew we would join him in Heaven someday. We explained to him that in the blink of an eye we would join him. Time in Heaven is not like time here on earth. It brought our son comfort to know that we would be with him very soon. After the 2 good weeks with Sam at home we were able to tell that his body was failing him. He was sleeping a lot more, needing oxygen and additional meds to keep him comfortable. He spent most of those last 2 weeks on our couch in the living room with family surrounding him. We would watch movies (many Star Wars Marathons), talk to Sam, and do our very best to comfort him. We would pray with him a lot. Sam was baptized on the couch in our living room in his last days of life. He loved Jesus and had given his life to him. We were able to have one last Christmas with Sam in August of 2010. Santa and his helpers came to our home to visit with Sam. Though Sam slept through most of this visit he did awaken to ask Santa to pray with him, to open one gift and to allow our family to take our last family pictures together. As difficult as these memories are I am so thankful for them. I am thankful for every last moment that God allowed our family to spend with our son. We had 4 weeks with our son....4 weeks with Sam after he was sent home in palliative care. Everything happened so soon. We thought we had more time. On Sams last day of life he wanted to go back up to his room....in his heart I think Sam knew that God was going to be calling him home. Bringing Sam upstairs to his room one final time was not an easy task. He had to be carried upstairs and unhooked from the oxygen for the short trip up to his room. His breathing was so labored and this really took a toll on him to even be off of the oxygen for a few moments. Sam was able to be in the comfort of his own bed in his room with his family surrounding him as he took his last breaths. Those last moments were not peaceful. He really struggled breathing and watching this as a parent is horrific. God had mercy on our son and on our family as the suffering did not last long. I know in my heart that the moment Sam took his last breath he was in the presence of Jesus. Within seconds of Sams passing the song by Mercy Me came on the radio in his bedroom- I Can Only Imagine. I can only imagine our son walking with Jesus in a cancer free body with 2 healthy legs. I cant wait until the day that we can join Sam again in Heaven. We miss you and love you with everything that we have Sam. We honor you in all that we do through the Sam Bish Foundation and we vow to never forget and to always honor your memory by helping others. We love you sweet boy. We will see you again soon- in the blink of an eye.
Posted on: Tue, 20 May 2014 16:30:11 +0000
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