Since 20/10/14 scottish cat slaves have had messier carpets. Due to the planet-saving carrier bag law, the monkey-beasts are no longer double bagging our scoopoids from our litter trays. However, the fact that most supermarket carrier bags have at least one gaping hole in them, our slaves have always seen the need for double bagging. The extra electricity used to vaccuum the dryish debris must offset the use of a carrier bag. Not to mention that sloppy scoopoids require chemical intervention, which is essentially involves pumping more chemicals out into the world in which we live. Being a considerate master, I have tried to help my simians from double bagging by gorging myself so much that my scoopoids have increased in girth. This prevents them falling through most carrier bags. I admit that this is a rather small contribution to the cause, but I have always been a staunch supporter of the environmentalist movement, and every little bit helps. Unfortunately, I indulge a little too enthusiastically and I barf. I do try to ensure that I chuck up on carpeted areas, and that I use each gut spasm to take a step backwards. This is definitely the best technique for attracting the monkeys attention, and a well spread barf-snake can give them hours of fun. Sadly, my stepbrother, Angus, hasnt got with the programme. He still produces rather slender scoopoids. He claims that his anal retentiveness makes his task like icing a cake. His comical attempts to arrange them into a spiral configuration in order to prevent seepage has long been a private joke which enjoy with my sister, Roxy. However, I am unconvinced that this will have a significant impact on monkey-beast bag use, because he needs to work on his compaction. Again, any attempt at discussing helpful hints in the brownie making department have not been well received. Unfortunately, all this is moot. We are now at an impasse. It is incredibly frustrating, because negotiations on a MTW (Minimum Turd Width) had been going so well. Then, Roxy called Angus Mr. Whippy. and all hell broke lose! This is extremely immature, considering the planets future is at stake, for goodness sake!. Anyway, I do agree that an incentive to be more green is a good thing, in principle. However, this new law is punitive towards the monkey-beasts charged with serving we cats. The Scottish Government should immediately implement a scheme, issuing bag licences to cat slaves... making them exempt from this punitive, anti-feline tax. It is also worth noting the possible alliance we may forge with dog owners. Yeah. It would be brilliant if more of them actually bothered to pick up the dog turds in the first place. Anyway, Thishas been Lemmy Kilmouser, reporting from the inside of my soapbox. Hahahah
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 00:49:06 +0000
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