Since Star Wars episode IV - who cares - is premiering on my birthday next year, Ive decided to take the unusual step of actually acknowledging the date of my birth (which may not actually be the date of my birth but is whats on the official records) by doing something special. In order to celebrate my birthday, I will NOT be attending a premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you wish to honor the day in some fashion or other, I urge you to join me by also not attending the theater to watch that film on that day. Strike a blow against Hollywood laziness, disrespect for the science fiction genre and against crass commercialism all at the same time with one time and money saving act: just dont go. If George or Disney get on your case, tell them its my birthday and how dare they schedule their films release on such an awesome, revered and hallowed day. Tell them to get their OWN day from now on. Tell them to get a script while youre at it, or maybe even - horrors - an original idea. Tell them we have friends who do this thing called writing - professionally - (like, for a living) and that in our opinion, many of them write stuff that would make really great movies. Or at least movies better than re-hashed, pretending-to-be-based-on-joseph-campbell-academics-but-is-really-a-poor-rendition-of-Flash-Gordon tripe theyve been reshuffling since 1977. Yes, Star Wars (no episode), I really, really liked you when you were young and fresh and unpretentious, despite all of the flaws, bad dialogue and illogic. I liked the characters, the special effects, the music, the awe, the mystery. Now you are tired and old and re-treaded and pointless - kinda like me - and no one wants to seem ME dancing around on a stage. I suggest the same may be largely true for you. So remember, to celebrate my advent upon this Earth next year: Have a Dont Go To Star Wars Day. Have some cake and ice cream instead - it will be money and time well spent, youll probably have more fun, you wont have to leave your comfy, warm home, you wont have to endure the annoyance of cellphones in the theater, your neck will not be sore from continual shaking of the head (a reaction due to the inevitable disgust and resignation you will feel realizing that all the youngsters actually think this thing is something new). If you are strongly resistant to this idea (I know, I know, hallowed icon of geeky culture, yada yada) just watch the Star Wars Holiday Special (gee, war on xmas started all the way back in 78 - who knew?) a month or so before the premiere. It will destroy your resolve to see the film. Keep a bucket handy, it might be needed. (its on youtube - surpirsed that site hasnt melted down...-https://youtube/watch?v=6c3B18gAJyc) and have a great day!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 13:44:56 +0000
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