Since its spill your guts on FB day (i.e. a day off)... Every time I go to Nashville, countless (by that I mean more than I could keep track of) people ask me, So when are you moving back? And I always say, I dont know. I never, for some reason, say, Im not. To be honest, I dont really LIKE Nashville. I LOVE the friends I have there, I love how Ive always found a warm reception for my insanity....Im just not too fond of the fact that I spent so many years in a town which, despite my always warm reception (and occasional encouragement from industry folk), never seemed to quite GET me. Yet I have to admit its callin my stubborn ass again. The reality (and I on occasion allow that to be a factor) is that I, for better or worse, produce a product which has a better chance of success in a town which produces that product. Im closer to death now than I have ever been. In fact, Im closer now than I was when I typed that last sentence. And Im even closer NOW. But I digress. Opportunity is fleeting, like life. Contrary to popular belief, it can knock multiple times (opportunity, not life). The key is in your proximity to the door. I feel compelled to weigh my distance from the door against my (relatively) secure current circumstances. To weigh my chances here against my chances there. Neither is a sure bet - not by a LONG shot. The path of least resistance is to stay in Oklahoma, pray that developments here will prove worthwhile. But - to quote one of my favorite songwriters - the path of least resistancell lead ya to the least every time. I thought when I moved back to OK six years ago that I was done with that crap. But Ive proven time and time again that Im not ever REALLY done with the crap I say Im done with. Except crack. Im REALLY done with that. But, once again, I digress. Im a different man than I was when I left Nashville. Not quite as wild (by my own standards), more mature. I look more like Willie than I ever have before. Yet I fear deep in my soul that moving back will be the final nail in my coffin, that if I royally fail again I may not have the will to continue trying. I do NOT want my epitaph to read, Been there, done that. Went again, did it again. Failed again. I want a smaller tombstone. Life is a freakin conundrum. And a cabaret, ol chum.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:12:53 +0000
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