Since no less than 7 people decided today was the day to ask me about my love life, here goes. Ill try to explain it. I do not have a girlfriend. I am not in a relationship. So call me single if you must. See, I am damn picky when it comes to... pretty much everything. But especially women. I think I spent enough time in shitty relationships to have earned the right to be picky. I decided a while ago that I was not going to settle for anything less than what I want. Because thats all it would be. Settling. Settling is about the worst thing a person can do to themselves. If youre that desperate to be with someone that you will roll the dice with really anyone that comes along, I think thats a little bit sad. Have a little confidence. A little perseverance. Or just settle and spend your life trying to convince yourself that its good enough. Heres a hint: If you have to convince yourself, its not good enough. So if I shut myself off from everyone how do I know Im not shutting out the right one? A fine question. Ill get to that. Are my standards too high? I dont think so. They are high. They have been cultivated and multiplied and built up over a lifetime of bad relationships and regrettable infatuations. So maybe they are too high. Except I have found a woman that not only meets them all but exceeds them. So there is living proof that this woman of my dreams is a living, breathing human being. I think that validates my standards. Shes bossy, shes opinionated, and shell be the first person to tell you shes crazy. We disagree on a lot of things. I can count on never winning a single argument with this woman ever. Nor will I ever get the last word. Which all sounds awful but its not. Shes also kind, generous, massively intelligent, a brilliant conversationalist, an amazing mother. Shes got the most gorgeous brown eyes ever seen on this earth and you can tell anything shes thinking by looking at them. Shes got a smile that I will swear to any god you want makes the sun just a little bit embarrassed that it cant light up the world in the same way. I was crazy about this lady the first time I saw her. And from the first time I talked to her no other woman has stood a chance. I was all in. So where is this dream woman? Why dont I go get her? Well, thats complicated. Real complicated. Truth is, the best thing I can do for her right now is just stay out of her way. Let her figure things. Shes got a lot of stuff to go through that I really just cant be a part of. And I know it. I dont like it but I dont have a choice. When you care about someone enough you do what is right for them whether you like it or not. Maybe someday Ill get her. Maybe I wont. My head and my heart dont often agree but they both say, dammit, dont give up on this one. So Im single. And thats okay.
Posted on: Thu, 12 Jun 2014 04:40:42 +0000
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