Since today is suicide awareness day. I thought I would talk a little about my depression & how I cope with it. Warning - this might be long! Most of yall know the day before my 16th birthday, I got a call from my best friend asking if I wanted to go get a tire with her. Normally I would have went, but something just told me not to & to this day I still cant tell anyone why I didnt go because normally I would have. I just told her Id see her tomorrow for my birthday. 2 hours later I got a call saying that my best friend was killed instantly in a car accident. No body could help her because it was too late. Instantly my heart just shattered. For a few days I was shocked.. Until I had gone to her funeral & seen her family. Then it hit me that this was real, & it did happen & she wasnt coming back. From then on I had turned into someone that I dont ever want to be again. I still cant forgive myself. I was so depressed. It was messing with my head and changing me. I did things Im not proud of. I though things I should have never thought. I asked why. Instead of being thankful I was selfish & just couldnt figure out why I wasnt killed too. At school Id get so upset, Id get shoved id get called names, my grades dropped, I moved to a different school & About 7 months after I had met the love of my life. From day one he said we were gonna get married haha. He made me happy again. He made me feel whole again. Then about three months after that I started to feel guilty for being happy again. I went to counseling. But Cody was there and stuck through it with me. Fast foreword to me having cam; I knew I had to be happy for her. Because she knows when momma is sad. I didnt want her to be sad. So some advice for anyone struggling with depression; I know you feel alone and scared. I know you get thoughts & the depression takes any positive thoughts that you had away. But please please do not let the depression get the best of you. Do not feel like suicide is the only way out. Because its not. You can get help. But you HAVE to ask for it. Dont feel embarrassed. Surround yourself with positive people. Wake up every morning reading a joke or something funny. & if you need to talk, please talk to me. On average 1 person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes. Each suicide affects intimately affects Atleast 6 other people. About 2/3 of people who commit suicide are depressed at the time of their deaths. Depression that was untreated or undiagnosed is the number 1 cause of suicide.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 03:29:40 +0000