Sister Update 9 - Well friends...its been a crazy weekend. I havent posted about things in a while because its been such a roller coaster i didnt really know what to say. My sister is still in the hospital and things went down hill over the weekend. On Friday afternoon, just as I was finishing up my radio program, I got a frantic call from Heather, who was at the hospital, checking in on sis. She said there was a problem and that the doctor was in the room and my sister was having issues communicating. I went into a panic and pretty much ran off and left my production guy sitting with the not quite finished product. (He was able to finish and did a great job...so thanks Casey...youre a great friend.) By the time I got to the hospital, my sister was running 102.7 fever, her eyes were bugged out and staring into nothingness, she was completely unresponsive...couldnt speak...couldnt even squeeze my hand, and she was moaning with every labored breath. I sat beside her and held her hand and tried talking to her and fought hard to keep it together and not lose it where she could see me. Nothing I did mattered. It was like she was gone. And about every third or fourth breath she stopped for a minute and it seemed an eternity before she took another one. I cannot describe to you the horrors that were going through my head each time that happened and the intense feeling of helplessness. The Doctor didnt help either...asking me if she wanted to be de-fibrillated and put on a respirator and possible have a tracheotomy if it came to that. I didnt know what to say and asked him to call her children for the answer to those questions. Soon they came and took her for CT scan and told us there was fresh bleeding on her brain...which they thought was coming from the scar tissue caused by the stroke...but might also be part of the aneurysm. They explained to me why it was inoperable, and all we could do was try to make her as comfortable as possible and encourage her. Thank God, Heather was there with me...she kept a level head and asked lots of questions of the nurses and docs to get the information we needed to understand the situation. To me...it was like watching my mom suffer all over again...as I had to cope through back in 2009...and I just wanted to run into the dark cover of night and curl into a ball and never be found again. Eventually, they took her to have another scan and took a sonogram reading of her chest...because she had begun to cough up nasty looking fluid and they were afraid pneumonia had set in. We sat there for a bit and the nurse told us she would not be coming back to that room...that they were moving her to the Neuro-ICU care rooms. As we were told the tests were going to take about an hour and as my nephew had called and said he would be there in about 45min...we went home to make sure the kids had dinner and I went on my tour...after calling to check in and making sure I would get a call immediately if there were any changes. The night was rough for my sister, and after my tour I went back up there and sat for a while in the wee hours of the morning with my niece and niece-in-law who had also come in. There had been minute improvements and she was still being watch intently. As i sat there, talking to my niece, and watching my great niece sleep on the pull out bed...I was struck by how the family had pulled together over this. It made me sad in a whole different way. It seems it is often the case that folks get busy with their own lives and jobs and whatever and forget to take time to stay close to friends and family. Then a tragedy happens and everyone gathers and there is not time for anything expect worry. Please...if you are reading this...dont let this happen in your family. Go for a visit this weekend. Family reunions are no fun in a hospital room. By the time Saturday night arrived she was a bit better...and all the stones that had filled my heart due to the dread and uncertainty felt a bit lighter. Again, i went up to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning after my tours and this time I sat with my nephew and talked. He had encouraging words and he told me she was talking again where you could understand her and she was moving on her own and pretty cognizant again. At the time she was asleep and snoring, so I had to wait to see how she was doing till later in the day. He and I sat and talked for a while about life and what might need to happen in the future. Again...it was sort of a happy/sad moment and I regretted having to be there in the hospital to catch up. It felt awkward. I felt like it was disrespectful for us to laugh or reminisce while his mother lay in a hospital bed nearby. So...our conversation was stilted and somewhat stiff, but I was glad to have that hour or so to spend with him none the less...as it had been over a year or so since we had talked. They all left in the afternoon on Sunday, and after handling my commitments, I went to visit sis again. She was remarkably better...but still not quite right. She was propped up in her bed and watching Farscape (she really does love science fiction), and she recognized me right away and spoke fairly understandably. She doesnt look the same as when she went in to work that day, not so long ago, when she had her stroke. She has lost a lot of weight...her eyes are still kinda puffed out...and she is having some trouble with motor control and the side of her face. I have to brace myself each time I enter her room to make sure I dont show any outward signs of concern. I sat with her and talked for a good while and at one point she sighed heavily and said she was sooo ready to just go home. I tried to encourage her that it wouldnt be long...but I feel like it may be much longer than she is thinking. I was instantly sad again...and tried to hide my face while I changed the subject right away. She told me she also wanted some sweet tea, some coffee, some ice cream...and of course...a cigarette. She also asked if she could hear my radio show...and how it went. I told her I would play it for her soon, when she felt like sitting through 30min worth of silliness. And before I left, I played the new Star Wars trailer for her on my phone and she was very excited about that (did i mention she loves sci-fi?). I pray today brings more recovery. I pray she stays on a healing path. And I pray that these posts leave a positive feeling with you all who are reading them...and maybe it will help someone else out there who is going though something similar. Take care of yourselves, my friends. I want to keep you around as long as I can...and remember to stay in touch. Lets stick together...OK?
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 11:41:28 +0000
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