Sisters continue to be shocked that some Black Men arent open to being in relationships with Single Mothers. Though, Im not really sure if its shock, versus delusion and dissatisfaction that some Men arent looking to wife up Single Women with children. A Sister made a comment that a Single Mother and her children can be a blessing to a Single Man and I dont negate that. However, a man will see a BURDEN...well before he sees a BLESSING. I wouldnt advise my son to marry a Single Mother with children, even though his mother has been a Single Mother most of his life. I definitely wouldnt want him to marry a single Mother that has an arrogant and haughty, hands out, I need someone to take care of my children type of attitude. I wouldnt want my son to marry an unaccountable woman either. I wouldnt want my son to be with a woman that has baby daddy issues because I know how stressful that can be. I wouldnt want my son to enter into a situation where he has limited authority. A lot of women want men to play Daddy but they still want to call the disciplinary shots. I definitely wouldnt want him to marry a Single Mother that has multiple children by several men and has NO shame about it. I wouldnt want my son to marry a Woman that doesnt have a healthy relationship with her father, even though I had an unhealthy relationship with mine. I dont want my son to marry a Black Woman raised by a Bitter Mama, because that places his legacy in jeopardy. I dont want my daughters to be Single Mothers either. I want my children to make MUCH better choices than I did. In certain areas of my life, I want them to look at me as an example of how NOT to be. I want my children to be BETTER than me...not just LIKE me. I want them to break the cycle that I started. I will NOT pass single mother hood to my daughters like its a cherished family heirloom. My children werent conceived in love. Though I love them, my children are a product of my bad choices in men and thats just the honest truth. Just like some children are the products of one night stands...some of our children represent a temporary(or in some cases a reoccurring) lapse in judgement. I am not saying that Women with children cant be redeemed, or that Women that dont have a relationship with their Fathers cant be redeemed or even women there raised by Bitter Mamas cant be redeemed but in order to be redeemed one must first recognize dysfunction, destructive behavior and the need for HUMILITY...and sadly most Black Women arent willing to be humbled. Regardless of the number of children we have, a lot of Black Women have the attitude of this woman I saw in a video once, where she vehemently stated that someone needed to be held accountable for all her kids. That someone was HER. That someone is ME. That someone is YOU. That someone is US. Its unfair to judge men that arent willing to shoulder and share the consequences of the choices WE have made. If they werent there to partake in the conception, I can understand them not wanting to partake in the consequences. —Nojma Reflects—
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:20:01 +0000