Sitting here trying to write Moms eulogy. So hard......so much I could say....want to say. I went back to re-read the one I wrote for Dads funeral, just over a year ago. Brought back a flood of memories....and a flood of tears ..hadnt revisited it until now. Needed to again. Those of you that never met my Dad, this can serve as that introduction. Writing a eulogy for my father is the hardest homework assignment ever taken on. How do you frame your thoughts, feelings and memories in a short narrative? I don’t really know but this is my best effort. You are here because you knew and loved Dad. You know he retired from a long, distinguished career at Lockheed Aircraft, where he served as Manager of Domestic Sales, primarily focusing on the C-130 Program. Every time I see one of those fly over I think of Dad, wonder if that was sold during his stint. Those here that worked with Dad would likely know by certain distinguishing marks, but me, I didn’t catch the aircraft bug so I just know it’s a C-130. You know he served in the Air Force and afterwards spent two 6 months stints in the South Pole. But today I want to focus on Dad as Dad, not in the professional sense. Since I was old enough to understand right & wrong I knew what he expected of me and tried to measure up. Glenn & Jennifer were no different. Dad was a loving man who had no issues expressing that emotion. It was comforting to live in an environment like that. Not all my friends were as lucky. Being the oldest meant while I was growing up, in the early years Dad was gone a lot, traveling for work and building a career path. Glenn experienced dad’s time away as well. By the time Jennifer came along, as best as I recall he was able to delegate the most arduous travel to subordinates. My sons Chris & Matt know what that feels like to have their Dad gone a lot during the week; I too followed a similar path of travel for work, albeit selling music instead of aircraft. Mom was left often to manage all aspect of the home. We challenged her at times, and when we pushed too hard we paid for it when Dad returned home. They were a team, he supported her. Glenn and I played sports; me baseball and basketball and Glenn baseball and football. Jennifer danced ballet and she was great and he was proud of her! I recall many nights where Dad would rush from the airport to the game, halfway through by then and jumped right into the action, cheering us on. I always seemed to know when he arrived, probably because I wasn’t paying much attention in the field. But I stood straighter and swung harder in his presence, not always with successful results but always trying. Win or lose there was a hug, encouragement and advice. Baseball…..that was his game……the Smith’s game. Grandmother Smith loved the Cincinnati Reds. Her brother played for them as well as the Pittsburg Pirates in the days of Babe Ruth, actually dueled him as a pitcher and most times lost. How cool I thought it that my Grandmother knew the stats of the players on the Reds and where they were in the standings. When I visited during the season we would watch them together on her TV in the front room of her house in Louisville, KY. He came about his love of baseball through Grandmother I believe. I never asked….maybe from his Dad…….a man I never got to meet, as he died several months before I was born. I would have loved to have met and formed a relationship with the man that raised my Dad. I hear he was a great one. Had to be…..all of his children grew to be successful individuals with wonderful families. Success breeds success they say. Dad, he loved the Braves. Brian McCann was his favorite player….tough, hard worker, no flash he would say. A catcher; Dads position. He always wore a Braves cap. I placed his Braves cap in his casket moments ago and he will carry it with him forever. It just seemed appropriate. Fast forward several years later. All three of us married and now have children of our own. He was a proud granddad and subsequently a great Granddad. Loved being around the kids. They loved Granddaddy. Grandkids ball games were something he really looked forward to. He always tried to wear the cap of their team. He had the time now to spend and he made the most of it. Fast forward to a few years ago. We knew something wasn’t quite right with Dad but couldn’t pin it down. He just didn’t seem 100% physically….he was slowing down. He was always very private when matters of health or finance came up. Not sure why, think it may be a Smith trait. Old school. He survived a cancer scare and I wondered if that was returning. Tests showed he was clean. What was it? A hospital visit after numerous inexplicable falls triggered an emergency room doctor to test for Parkinson’s……tests were positive…we had our answer. Now what? A year or so later we decided it was best to sell their home and move to an environment where they had luxury yet support. Their house sold to the first person who visited and they made the big move. Glenn, Jennifer and I felt a lot better about this new living situation; Mom & Dad had to warm up to it. But they did. Parkinson’s is a tough customer. It has no mercy. Dad pushed his body as hard as he could and we spent many days and weeks in the hospital from falls associated with the imbalance caused by this disease. But he always seemed to bounce back. Until two months ago. He couldn’t seem to snap back from the last one. Dad never got really down, at least never expressed it to me. We wouldn’t let him. Being so close meant one of us was with them nearly every day while at home and certainly every day at the hospital and subsequently the rehab facility. If he balked at exercise we pushed back. I am certain now it was because we were afraid of the alternative. We weren’t ready for it. I recall the last great day I had with him. May 1st, at the rehab facility. A day where his mind was sharp and his wit fully intact. I got there around 11 am and he was dressed and just about to complete physical therapy. They said he had done well and should get up and spend a few hours in a wheelchair. It would be the first time in nearly a month he has actually been out of the bed for any period of time at all. I was excited. I told him we were going to wheel through the halls and wheel we did. I pushed him for nearly 45 minutes before I decided to take him outdoors to the courtyard to enjoy the first sunny day in a week or so. It was a little bit chilly but not bad. He made it 10 minutes and said he was cold, wanted to go back in. I remembered he had a jacket in the closet so I grabbed it, put it on him and back outside I insisted we go. I will never forget that. We were out there 15 minutes tops and he looked at me, said as plain as day “OK, you got what you wanted…nobody got hurt…..lets go back inside”. I just laughed and he smiled and I honored his request to return to his room. He humored me with that visit outside that second time. It was chilly but he knew I wanted him outside getting fresh air and didn’t argue. Humor…..Dad was filled with it. Uncle Buster as he was known in the extended family, mostly to the first & second generation. Practical joker…all the Smith men were. It passed through the genes, as my sons are too. Everyone has their own Uncle Buster stories…memories they will keep with them always. He was often asked and always took great pleasure in calling his nephews or nieces children right before Christmas and pretending to be Santa and getting them all excited about what was about to come their way. He was good at that. But he was serious too. As the oldest son, he often served as the sounding board to his brothers and sisters. Often time decisions were based on what Buster thought. I was proud of that fact. And relationships. Dad maintained friendships with those that mattered in his life for many, many years. I paid close attention to that noble trait and I have tried to do the same with those that truly mattered to me. Some of us have drifted apart due to life’s challenges but it really is important to try and do. Friends, true friends will never abandon you. Dad has many of those longtime true friends here today. You know who you are. I certainly do. Golf at Thanksgiving was a tradition for many years. Dad had a regular weekly golf game after retirement that included his longtime Lockheed friend John King and Uncle Carl, a brother-in-law he considered a brother. I have never seen a relationship quite like he & Carl shared, being only related by marriage. Same with Uncle Gene, his sister Barbara’s husband. Respect for each other, unparalleled. We should all strive to have the same bonds with extended family. Today Dad is waiting for us all in heaven. Probably teeing it up with Richard and Carl and meeting up with Mary Helen and James for lunch afterwards to talk about the family. You see, the Smiths love to talk. Mostly first generation Smiths do. Phone calls to one another almost weekly, catching up. Very close group. We always gathered for Thanksgiving here in Marietta at Mary Helen’s and Carl’s home. What do I remember most about those events? The Rich’s Bakery chocolate and coconut cakes and the battle to get a second piece after dinner. You see, the Smiths like to eat too! Usually Richard beat us to it…he was bigger. Now only two of the original six Smith bothers & sisters remain with us. Ron and Barbara, you know Dad loved you unconditionally. He was proud of you and loved spending time with you. He always seemed to know what you were up to, where you were and how your families were. It mattered to him. Am I sad?…….yes!………do I miss him terribly?....you bet! Did I benefit from the continued subtle yet profoundly effective teachings from him all through his older years right up until Monday morning at 10:36 when he left this world for a far better one?....Absolutely!! Thank you Dad for being our guidepost, Jennifer, Glenn and I. For expecting us to give our best, teaching us the importance of good character, holding us accountable, praising effort, critiquing less and always being there for us. Thanks for loving Mom as you did for more than 58 years, protecting and caring for her. There are no better examples for parents than mine. Thank you for being our Dad. God bless you…..we will see you again…….be sure and have the Braves cap on so we can spot you quickly!
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:48:06 +0000
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