Sitting reflecting on the season we are in and feeling like my emotions are as active, fruitful and buzzing as extreme as bees surrounding a honeycomb. Couple of bullet points that come to mind: * It is an internal battle to fill an Easter basket when we just returned home from 3 weeks in two third world nations and an orphanage that we are determined to see radically blessed. * Its my birthday week - well, sort of. To my mom your birthday week began a week before your birthday and continued a week after, so to the only child in me, its hard to not be getting a call every day with my mom on the other end saying, Do you wanna know my very best day... Inevitably followed with the story of my birth down to the finest detail like hearing the nurses shoes squeak down the hallway followed by a knock on the door and a sweet little voice saying, Would you like to meet your baby girl? (I wonder if that nurse knew how often she would be a point in conversations.) * Tomorrow is Easter. Yup, its true. A day that overwhelmed my heart with a desperation to know Him more, to go, if even just one step closer to the center of his heart. Yet feeling this sadness in my heart at I think back on Easter being one of my favorite holidays in Texas. We would hunt eggs, with 3 impossibly hard to find eggs by my brother-in-law filled with some ridiculous amount of money and bragging rights for the year to follow. Then many years my brother and I would somehow end up in a water fight that would start with a cup and end with a hose... Leaving us soaking wet, laughing and often laying on the trampoline not realizing that those memories would forever be cherished to such an extreme. My first Easter egg hunt and every one until I was married was in the backyard of a house that is now empty - filled with nothing but walls and a lifetime of memories. All my nieces and nephews hunted thousands of eggs in that backyard and my son and daughter had their first Easters there also. * in this moment what I want to do is play hookie on the whole weekend. I want to turn worship music on, sing to the one who is faithful and worthy, cry, read my Bible and hide in my room. But instead Im going to recognize what I have, not what I feel like I have lost. Im going to make new memories with my littles. Im going to fill Easter baskets (a little less full then years prior) and savor the moments. We are going to color Easter eggs on Easter since I thought not doing it would somehow make me feel better and miss her less so I put it off. Im going to kiss my husband because I can and because Im ridiculously, beyond what I could have imagined, in love with him. Im going to look at the relationships & community God has blessed me with this year. Im going to dream about our adopted little ones. Im going to take $100 from this little box my mom gave me and buy myself something from her for my birthday. Im going to recognize the fact that Easter is not about what has been lost, but it is about what has been restored... Life, hope. He is risen, the grave is empty and it is time for me to wash my face and celebrate life with my husband and my littles. #heisfaithful #heisrisen
Posted on: Sun, 20 Apr 2014 00:55:39 +0000