Smile Though Your Heart is Breaking Sometimes life isnt fair, even by Karma principles. Recently I experienced one of the more crushing moments of my life, and even though Ill recover, right and wrong doesnt seem to cover the fairness of the situation. Thats life. When I was a kid, I remember losing my ski jacket, or should I say my sisters ski jacket. It wasnt by neglect or lack of caring, but by a set or circumstances beyond my control. We used to go skiing at White Pass, taking the bus out from Willies Sports shop in the wee hours of a Saturday morning on days when light was short, boarding before the sun, two dozen kids ranging in age from 13 to 18, half asleep, days before I drank coffee, pleased to have a pillow so I could sleep the hour and a half it took to get to the slopes. My sister got a new ski coat, and because of who she was, her old one was still brand new, you had to know her to fully appreciate that. Anyway, I pleaded with her to let me take her old jacket, to which she flatly refused, accusing me of not being responsible enough to take care of it. After much debate where my parents got involved, she relinquished the coat with the warning, So help me, if you lose my coat, you are dead! It was red down and, with it zipped to the neck, I looked like a cherry with legs. However, I was never a cold weather person, so the warmth it provided far overshadowed my rather unique look. I promised my sister Id never take it off, nothing would come between me and that coat. I wore it on the blistering hot bus, up the pass and to the slopes. As we reached the summit, we were greeted by the sun peeking over the hills. We filed out of the bus, waited for the bus driver to unload our skis, took our tickets to the lifts and one by one took our turns being scooped up and chaired up the mountainside. We skied the short sunlight away, we fell, we got back up, we fell, we got back up, down the runs, back up the chairs. The down coat kept me warm while others fell victim to the wet, to the cold, to the winter. Truth is, I developed into a decent skier that year but it would be my last, wrestling and the possibility of a skiing injury stopped me from turning those fun winter Saturdays into tradition. When we came home that night, the wetness of the down, the heat of the bus, the humidity of the dampness was too much to bear. I was tired, I wanted to sleep, the coat was heavy it was steaming, it was hot. I unzipped the coat and lay it on my lap. The last thing I remembered was tucking my pillow between me and the window and drifting off to sleep. The bus screeched and lunged forward as we came to a stop. We were home. It was dark, maybe only six in the evening, dark for at least an hour and a half. Kids were standing, grabbing bags, confusion, exiting the bus, tired from a day of fun, ready to go home. As I stood, I realized the coat wasnt on my lap. I looked around and didnt see it on the floor. It didnt dawn on me it was gone, I looked around, asked the person standing beside my seat, Do you see my coat? Whats it look like? A girl from our high school asked politely. Red. She laughed, The cherry boy! I smiled, Yeah. Sorry, I havent. I called out and asked if anyone saw my coat. Some kids laughed, some were ambivalent, some werent paying attention. I waited until the bus was empty. I was panicking, I couldnt leave that bus without my sisters coat. Shed never understand, she would think I was irresponsible. I pleaded with the bus driver, who carefully checked under every seat. The coat wasnt on the bus. Someone had lifted the coat from my lap while I slept. I dont know if it was a prank or theft, but the results were the same, I had to tell my sister I didnt have it. My sister never forgave me. For years to come she used that as the lightning rod of her NOs. I couldnt blame her, I had to live with it. I cant explain the Karma behind that event, there wasnt any. Sometimes life just happens in a manner that is unexplainable and without reason. That isnt to say I didnt learn a thing or two, lessons can be sought out of experience, they can be forged from the iron of meaningless events, and I have certainly discovered some of my advice I give to others from the missing coat. Understanding wasnt mine to give to my sister, she didnt want to be understanding, but from my knowledge of what happened, I am blessed to know what things may come that arent others fault, and because of mine, I’m tolerant of those who come to me with bad news. Just recently I told someone who had to deliver me some bad news, news that was accusatory of me, the same thing I wish my sister would have understood 35 years ago, something the bearer of sadness needs to hear, something they need for a heavy heart, No matter what happens, smile.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 06:02:27 +0000
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