So 15 years ago tomorrow, I wrote Jesse a note like a little twitterpated schoolgirl. It said something like, I like you more than just as a friend, and it seems like you like me more too. If Im right, here is my number, so maybe you could give me a call and we could talk about it. Too Forward??? Ha ha, you wouldnt think so if you knew Jesse. =) He was so cute and backward and convinced that nobody would want to deal with the things that were not so perfect about him. Ill never forget our first face to face talk (after my yes phone call from him), Where he told me that he has anger issues and wasnt sure if I should date him. I said, If I am willing to take the good, then I should be willing to take the bad too. Little did he know that I had prayed and fasted for a week about a month prior to this convo. And just 2 weeks before this God spoke to me that Jesse was who I would marry. Up to that point we had only been friends, HA! And I wasnt even attracted to him at first LOL!!! From the point that the Lord told me he was the one, I knew without a doubt and Mom and I even went wedding dress hunting that day. OH MY GOODNESS, he didnt even know I was interested then. XD he he he he So, when we had that first talk, he was saying I like you, but be warned and I was already saying For better or for worse. 6 months later we were engaged and 6 months after that we were married. We actually dated for 364 days =) Today I have been married for 14 years and I am so blessed. Jesse is an amazing husband and such an awesome father. It was not always easy. Our first year was ROUGH! It didnt even really start getting good until year 3. YEP I said that! LOL We were both selfish. We didnt truly have a clue what selflessness was. And we didnt really see love through Gods eyes. We still thought it was suppose to be warm fuzzies, romantic walks on beaches and fairy tale endings. WE thought it was something you felt. We still thought the physical mattered more. Listen, Im not going to get graphic, physical matters, and we havent abandoned that LOL. But we learned a few things along the way. We learned that LOVE is a CHOICE. I learned that there were going to be days, and sometimes even months where I felt like he was my enemy, a jerk, or that I didnt even love him at all. But God didnt give up on me when I was unloveable. If he was social (he he lol) he would tell you that there were times where I was bridezilla, a dripping faucet of a nagging wife, picky and pervasive! We are both blessed to be raised in homes where Divor#$@% (we call it the D word) was NEVER an option. This is no blow to anyone who has unfortunitely had to experience the D word. But we both saw our parents go through highs and lows and stick it out when the money was good, when it was bad, when they had loads of friends and none. When they were jerks to each other and when the would kiss right in front of us kids to gross us out. We pattern a lot of our marital approach after what was modeled before us. And I cant help but cry as I type this and say, Nancy Hubbard Terry and Clayton Terry, James Probelski and Nancy Probelski we owe yall a debt of gratitude for being such Christ like examples. I know this is like a huge speech (feel free to stop reading anyone who is bored, ha ha) but I started typing and couldnt stop. I love the Lord and I am so grateful for him blessing me with such an amazing better half. I can honestly say I love him more and more every day (except for the ones where I cant stand him - which are few and far between). And its so funny, Im not saying he is never in the wrong (CAUSE HE IS sometimes) but, when we are at odds, if i get my head together and go to Jesus about it, so often I see my wrong doing and how I could be better and different =) I hope I get to have many many more years with you JESSE PROBELSKI (who will never see this, unless I make him sit at this computer and get on my facebook - which I will)! Jesse, you make me feel so special and fit so perfect with me. Where i am clueless, you bring clarity. When Im too hard on myself, you make me aware of it. You shower me with compliments and appreciation daily and help me stay focussed on what matters. I love how you play games with your boys and snuggle with your little girl. She will have amazing confidence as she grows up, if it is dependent upon your words, which are always uplifting and loving. Thanks for putting up with me hun =) I love you so much!
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 18:44:06 +0000
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