So I feel like I should touch on something thats become very personal to me in the past year. The use of passively saying you have a mental disability/illness (ex. I about had a panic attack. or Im sorry. Im so OCD.) is NOT OKAY. I was diagnosed with anxiety, and let me tell you something, its not cute. The feeling of having absolutely no control over your body, your organs, even your breathing is the absolute worst feeling in the world. It doesnt even have to be something like me crashing my car, it could be something as minute as a deadline sneaking up on me, and my brain tells me that Im going to fail. That Im a failure. My head swims with all the things Ive couldve done different and how I should have known, and then my head gets so clouded I cant even see. Not to mention that I cry the whole time, my throat burns because I cant control my breathing. It feels like Im drowning and there is no way I could ever catch my breath. Panic attacks arent the worst part. The worst part is knowing that I cant control them. Trust me, I dont want to break down in front of a bus stop, or in traffic. Anxiety IS NOT CUTE. Anytime I see someone saying that they almost had a panic attack or that they are having a panic attack, I just want to scream because if they knew what it actually felt like they wouldnt use it jokingly.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 01:10:48 +0000
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