So I have been working on my video most of the day. Or trying to, anyway. I cant seem to keep my mind on any one thing for very long. I have the TV on Pawn Stars for intermittent something-else-to-focus-on-that-isnt-a-war (or some other kind of death). But I am also periodically compelled to check in on the world atmosphere, all the same. We had a nice dinner (one that Dad would have really enjoyed) and I have continued to remind myself to just RELAX. By now, I think I am finally getting a handle on that... now that most of the day is past. :/ So ridiculous. Just kept feeling the tension of not doing what I was supposed to be doing - like anticipating a trip to the Principals office or something... Got some dishes to do, and then... more video work. Maybe a salt soak, if I can muster the energy to go and be good to myself. I am actually tired tonight, instead of wired. I am not sure if that is good or not. I suppose it just -IS- and that is good enough. Tomorrow (it will be 5 months since Dad passed away) I will make myself do the things I did not do today. Neurotically, I wonder if that is good or bad, too. Too much thinking. I just know I have appointments to make and things to accomplish, and there is nowhere to go besides relentlessly forward. Forward is where everything waits, where the healing of all this recent sorrow lives, and where hopes are fulfilled. Why do I procrastinate against that?? Even not working, I am thanking the Powers That Be for the weekend ahead, when I can lay down the IDEA that I need to tend to business for a couple days. It weighs heavy even on the days I procrastinate my way right out of it!
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 04:37:52 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015