So I opened my ‘other’ section on my FB inbox (this is a section I religiously avoid) and after weeding through a billion “hey, I want to be your friend, your best friend, your husband, your ex-husband” kinda messages, I decided to categorise them into the most common types written by these great, under appreciated cyber wordsmiths (it just so happens they were all men...shock/horror). Here are my top 5: 1. The standard freaky message: “hi dear,how are u doing,i hope u are fine,i came across ur profile and i love the way u look,so i feel to say hi to this beautiful young lady.God created u well.I will love to read ur message.Have a lovely day” 2. The Norman-Bates-Kinda-Freaky message: “Hello i want you to always plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself,because i found everything i needed for my fulfillment in you.Wish you can give me the privilege to have a word with you.Thanks” 3. The ‘Nigerian Prince’ kinda Message: “Please accept my apologies I do not want to invade your privacy, I wrote earlier-mail address for you, but no response to my first post I told you about my late clients B.J Fahmi, who has the same last name with you, after his death, I received several letters from the bank, where he made a deposit of $ 10.5MIllion before his death, the bank asked me to provide his next of kin or any of his relatives, who may make a claim on their money or it will be confiscated by the bank because I could not find any of his relatives hence I contacted you for this claim, since you have the same last name with him, After your reply I shall give you the details and procedures of the transaction, waiting for your reply. Please reply to my private email address: Lawyer Sylvester Thompson (Esq)” 4. This one is a personal fave, the ‘straight shooter’ kinda message: “Your pin please??” 5. The ‘William Shakespeare meets Nizar Qabbani’ kinda message: “What a captivating and charming angel, how are u pretty angel? U are indeed an angel,compliment of the moment hope your doing great, I will be honored and most delighted to know this angel better,my name is (name withheld) from Liverpool UK,please tell me more about yourself.looking forward to reading from you soonest,thanks”
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 09:02:04 +0000
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