So I was debating on whether or not I was going to post this, because Ive really come to the hate attention whoring social media has become, but I feel like this is the most convenient way to address everyone, and I feel I owe a lot of people an explanation, if not an outright apology for my behavior over the years. A few weeks ago, my doctor decided to refer me to a specialist because after hearing my concerns, she was worried I might suffer from whats known as clinical depression. I feel like this is something Ive been dealing with my entire life, but have never addressed it as a medical condition, and the past 2 years it has become so severe its become unmanageable. Its hard for me to come to terms with a condition like this, knowing as many strong willed people as I do, because its often passed off a simply being weak in character . Maybe I am in fact a weak person, as a strong person would have admitted to their faults a long time ago, but there are days where I dont feel I have control of my own thoughts and actions and its so crippling am unable to leave my house, and I dont think this how a healthy persons brain operates. This is not an attention grab. I dont want sympathy, just understanding, and maybe forgiveness for certain things Ive done. Over the past year Ive backed out of responsibilities and let down people who were counting on me,had someone tell me they were afraid of me and what I might do when I was angry at them, and made famliy members ask me why I dont speak to them. Ive gotten to the point where I hate being around myself, and I fear for my own safety sometimes. And maybe someone who is going through the same thing will see this and seek some sort of help
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 01:47:11 +0000
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