So Im going to begin this rant by stating that I have never in my life been afraid of spiders and have certainly survived my fair share of creepy crawly tickles and freakishly furry sink surprises while growing up in the south...however, the past twelve hours have changed me forever. As I finally hit the sheets this morning at 3am after a long and grueling 12 hour day of work, I noticed a subtle movement just about 2 inches from my left leg. Lucky for me the light from my cellular device supplied just enough glow to make out the gigantic (what appeared to be) granddaddy longleg tactfully making its way toward me. As I reached forward to gently relocate the little guy off of my humble stack of blankets it didnt take but a split second to realize I was eyeballs to triple eyeballs (literally) with a venomous recluse who was far more prepared for such an awkward social gathering. After making noises incapable of reproduction I climbed to the top of an end table and waited for the nightmare to end, closing my eyes while my new buddy made a dash to some dark and distant undisclosed location. I spent the next four hours shaking linens and sticking objects under loose baseboards, jumping at every speckle of lint that fell to the floor. As the search came to a close I took one last peek into the depths of an ancient notch in the floor, poking through what looked like a loogie full of stale crumbs and dead skin crammed between the rusty wheels of a hideous closet door only to discover my roommates are all quite capable of killing me in my sleep shall the urge ever arise. Until the next move I make, hello Best western, goodnight Facebook... Dont let the bed bugs bite!
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:34:37 +0000
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