So Im sitting in the darkened living room alone, wife went to bed, she decided to retire early when I put Bad Teacher on, has Cameron Diaz in it, whom she hates. Movie got dull, doesnt help that it is on basic cable, so I think, hey, I should look into the other 590 channels we get. So, scrolling thru the menu, I could purchase either Meatballs or Gravity for 15 bucks. I stayed on the channel offering Meatballs as I went to the kitchen to pick up some chips to go with my hummus dip, having no desire to buy a flick I saw a dozen times over 30 years. I came out and discovered the beer bottle on the table bubbling and the plate of hummus steaming. Very weird. Now I find out that Time Warner has a microwave beam gun that shoots through the channel indicator when the customer chooses to pay for shitty old dipshit movies and it is engineered to strategically blast a bro in his bag of tricks to render him sterile for at least 30 days. I dont recall ordering that option and I hope I am not paying for it. I do remember getting outrageously sweaty nads after ordering Spaceballs last year but I chalked it up to El Nino and never looked into it.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 04:16:32 +0000
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