So Im still here in Milwaukee with my family ...its been so long since I could honestly say that i have been able to have an actual respectful visit with any of them ....I just got home from a burlesque show and had the best Pow wow with my sister afterwards ever....I needed her to understand ...understand Me ...my heart....my pain and so much more and tonight I finally feel like I got thru to her in a way that I have never our whole lives ...we shared tears laughter anger sadness hugs and kisses but the best part for me Is knowing that after 32 years some one apologized to me that I needed it from and ment it some one was able to except some responsibility for their own actions and make an effort to correct them some can be forgiven and some just cant at the moment ....some things have been done that can never be forgotten and have left the ugliest scars on me as well .... But theres no greater feeling for me than to hear 2 simple words which are IM SORRY ...all Ive done was be born ....I hate no one but Ive learned especially being in this industry and being a part of a family like mine that its ok to let go ....no one who cant RESPECT U should have anything to say when they r cut out of ur life that goes for friends family lovers business partners and ect ...I have to live for me ...I have my own voice I protected myself when others should have instead of making every excuse in the book why they couldnt ....I protected my grandmother as much as I could and still watched her drop me off at a shelter like i was shit....I protect my children from being submitted to the same bullshit I was submitted to and because I did and still do what a mother is supposed to do which is whats right for her children Im the bad guy....Lol yea well guess whos worse cause I damn sure dont feel like I need to protect them from a saint right....but the point of this all is I am where god wanted me to be doing exactly what he wants Me to do and i am receiving what he knew i needed for me for my heart and my soul and that is greater to me than any amount of money fame or success ...I am fueled by love by my heart if its broken I can only produce so much but when its mended Ill give u my all its not completely mended but i will say this its damn sure on its way to being where it needs to be again and thats whole im loving how GROWTH is looking on me its my new favorite outfit ...I appreciate all of u for riding this train on this krazy journey with me but if I want anyone to see me grow its all of u because yall have changed my life and dont even know it I love u for that ....tomorrow I will b filming a documentary that will b uploaded to my YouTube channel PRETTYSWORLD22 soon inviting u all once again into parts of my life that I rarely visit ...u will meet my sister cousins aunts nieces nephew and childhood friends and hear from them personally how things were for us growing up some about our strained relationships that weve had with each other most of our lives I am going to take u to where I grew up and show u guys my hood my elementary school and so much more ...I only do this because I want yall to know me its important to me that u do so u know who ur supporting and will understand how much my success and accomplishments mean to me and know I take not one of yall who supports me for granted... I was told i wasnt shit and I wasnt gonna b shit I was distant for failure so this to me means far more than a stage name being a lesbian headliner women and money I CAN NOT BE BOUGHT thats y i retired what i seek has no price and Im not impressed with all that this industry has to offer the only good that has come from my time in it for me is all of u...I hope u all enjoy it for this will be once again one of the realest things i have ever shared with anyone let alone a world full of people but know I am ASHAMED OF NOTHING FOR MY PAIN HAS MADE ME EXACTLY WHO I AM he makes no mistakes and to my sister .....I SIMPLY THANK U !
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 09:35:45 +0000
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