So. Today kinda sucked. Yesterday wasnt great either. Its officially New Years Eve. I l laid in bed last night wide awake for four hours, easy. I am not thinking sad thoughts...just too many thoughts. I dont feel at fault but I do feel responsible. I pulled together enough finished work tonight to feel happy enough about the kiln yield...but Im not proud. I keep forgetting that although I love what I do, if I want to keep doing it...no word play...I just need to keep doing it. I also need to realize that although Im incredibly fortunate that I landed in front of a torch as opposed to locked in a loony bin in a phamacoma...there is a reason why I am struggling creatively and financially ...and its pretty clear to me that if I dont start treating this like a career, it can never become one. I just need to keep going, work harder, listen more, create thoughtfully and not out of pure emotion, plan, and take better care of myself physically so I can pull off a twelve hour day without lagging through half of it. Tomorrow is a new day. Ill make the best of it ;0)
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 05:25:38 +0000
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