So, anyways, still enjoying the Christmas season in Memphis with my family. And this morning I had the distinct pleasure and honor of having breakfast with my great uncle, one of the most colorful, notoriously outrageous characters of my youth who I absolutely idolized and lived for the many tales of his exploits. I am sure everyone knows someone like my uncle, one of those old-school players who never leaves the house without being immaculately suited and booted--Stacy Adams, fly silk suit, fedora, the whole nine--and trades his Cadillac in for a new Cadillac every year. Anyways, my uncle is well into his eighties and has been married innumerable times; he seems to believe in getting married, but its the staying married he has a problem with. It goes without saying, then, that somewhat of a scandal rippled through the family when he got married again last year around Thanksgiving and declared it to be the very last time he would get married because he had finally found the woman he was spent to live his life with, a woman reportedly much, much younger than he. But when i asked my great aunt, his sister, just how young my new great auntie was, she replied, her voice dripping with derision, that she was not even sixty yet. Eveidently, at the time of their marriage, my new great auntie was only fifty-nine and a half or something, Nevertheless, despite the prognostications of the doubters and naysayers, the marriage has lasted, and according to my great uncle, is stronger than ever. However, my great uncle revealed to me, about this same time last year, the marriage was headed toward certain disaster. According to him, hordes of jealous, bitter old women were running to my new great auntie telling her how they were seeing him all over town with this woman and that woman--more women than you can shake a stick at--riding with him in his Cadillac. So, I asked him just what he had done to get his marriage back on track. Had he and his new wife talked to their minister? Had they seen a marriage counselor? Oh, hell naw, my great uncle answered, taking a sip of coffee before stating in a very matter-of-fact manner, I just got my windows tinted, that dark, presidential tint. My brother and I nodded in unison and tacit agreement and admiration of our great uncles superior problem solving skills. Our wives exchanged quick looks of incredulity and disapproval. My children unsuccessfully tried to stifle guffaws.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 02:26:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015