So, as Murphys law would have it, on the coldest day of the year my boiler fails... No heat or hot water.. And Murphys been so busy with others that the boiler man cant get here for three days.. Against all logic and with no grasp or respect for my technical limitations.. I dive in. Change the filters in the oil line, change the nozzle, clean and adjust the electrodes using the Internet as my guide, and praying the house doesnt explode under the wonder if thisll work musicians logic.. I close my eyes and hit the ignition.. Nothing... Head over to Albro HVC supply where the saint of do it yourselfers tells me it must be the transformer. He suggests that I take a screwdriver and cross it over the spring contacts while the furnace is running... If you have no spark its the transformer he says before reminding me that it should be a rubber handled screwdriver because, its ten thousand volts and I wont be seeing you again if you dont. So, I go home, write a will leaving whats left of my earthly possessions to the wife.. except my super-sized stereo speakers that I promised to a buddy before the love of my life throws them in the trash at my demise.. Then I grab the biggest rubber-handled screw driver I can find and wrap my hands with electric tape and hazmat rubber gloves. Ignition.. Cross myself and the electrodes... Nothing. Back I go to Albro sporting my dead transformer and its tangle of wires I wrestled from the dead cold furnace... Saint Albro smiles that Im alive and not sprawled on my basement floor looking like Don King.. He sells me a replacement and says.. Dont stay too close or look into the peep hole when you start her up.... Could get a little loud and smokey with all that oil in there. Hearing that.. I probably looked a bit like a plastic surgery patient whod cranked the eyes back a wee bit much.. The thought of explosions has that effect. Especially explosions where Im in close proximity. Anyway, I head back home, shiny new transformer in hand, counting off the miles til my dramatic death by boiler. Replace the unit as prescribed. Opened appropriate valves. Don my neighbors Bomb Diffusing Suit.. (Cumbersome in the confines of small spaces) and after a short prayer to whatever deity would hear it.. Close my eyes and hit the ignition... Semi thunderous boom.. But not enough to shake the house.. followed by plumes of billowing blue smoke racing towards the fans Ive readied to coax those pollutants out the windows.. Then.. heat. Hot water. Household bliss restored! Im a hero again (in my own mind).. And, after taking off my huge bomb threat outerwear.. I crank those big speakers up to 11 happy that Andy will have to wait a bit longer to own their aural magnificence. Did I mention.. I love the retired guy who works at Albro in Mahopac? Hes a life saver. Thanks bud!
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 21:12:50 +0000
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